Dead Horse
by ElizabethAlice
Summary: Lisa Nicole Oak missed her childhood the freedom, the simplicity, but most of all she missed him. He left 8 years ago, now he comes back? But in an unexpected, almost unwanted way... Quileutes involved Some Mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Any characters, settings, or ideas you recognize are probably not mine, because I am not that famous… yet;)

Dead Horse: Something that is no longer of use. 'Beating a dead horse,' = getting nowhere.

The dull light seeped through my window, another 'beautiful' day in La Push. Yay. I saw the tear stains on my pillow and threw the comforter on top of them in an attempt to hide them. The house was still asleep; this was my favorite part of the day. I pulled on some old torn jeans and a baggy hoodie. As I trudged down the stairs my beagle, Cappuccino, attacked me. She looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes and I cracked.

"Yeah we can go on a walk," I whispered, petting her head. She licked my hand and ran off in the direction of her leash. I half-smiled, I love that dog. I hooked on her leash and we went through the front door, Cappuccino already pulling ahead.

"Wait a minute, I've got to get the paper," I tugged gently on her leash and Cappuccino ran back to my side. I bent down to get the newspaper and took it inside. As I set it down on the table however, the headline caught my eye.

WATCH YOUR STEP

THERE HAVE BEEN A GROWING NUMBER OF RAPES IN THE PORT ANGELES AND SURROUNDING AREAS, AS OF THIS MORNING THERE WERE TWELVE REPORTED AND THE PORT ANGELES POLICE BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE MORE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN TOO AFRAID TO COME FORWARD. MANY VICTIMS HAVE SIMILAR ATTRIBUTES: TAN SKIN, DARK BROWN HAIR, AVERAGE HEIGHT, AND MOST ARE AROUND THE AGE OF 18. ONE TRAUMITIZED VICTIM STATED, "I WAS SO SCARED, I WAS JUST IN AN ALLEY WALKING MY DOG AND HE ATTACKED ME RIGHT THEN AND THERE, ALL I SAW WERE HIS EYES, BLACK AND COLD, ALMOST AS IF HE WASN'T HUMAN AT ALL, LIKE HE HAD GONE COMPLTELY INSANE, WHEN HE WAS DONE HIS EYES TURNED HAZEL FOR JUST A SECOND AS HE WHISPERED, "SORRY" THEN HE RAN OFF AND LEFT ME THERE…" THE LAST VICTIM WAS FOUND IN HER CAR ALONG HIGHWAY 101 TO FORKS WASHINGTON, THE TOWN OF FORKS IS GEARING UP AND WATCHING OUT; REMEMBER, NEVER TRAVEL ALONE…

I put the paper down in disgust, all those poor girls, scarred for life. Cappuccino was pulling on her leash so I opened the door and put the article to the back of my mind.

Cappuccino pulled me into the woods, a common and welcome occurrence. I liked the woods, the sound of the birds in the trees, the warm breeze seeming to come from nowhere, the smell of rotting plants and tree sap, of stagnant water, and the buzz of insects, all sensations the rest of the world seemed to hate, which is exactly why I loved them. No one was ever around that I had to smile for, no one to ask why I was up, or where I got my shoes, etc. Yes, the woods were definitely my favorite place to be. As Cappuccino pulled me onto a familiar trail I slipped off into a daydream, humming a simple tune…

_The forest was behind us, and the sun was shining down. His chestnut hair was shaggy, the way I liked it, and it shone in the bright light. For the first time in so long I was looking into his gorgeous eyes, I could still see the trace of laughter that always gleamed there, but the spark was darkened with love. His hand gripped my own. _

"_You came back," I smiled, a real smile, not the half-hearted ones I had smiled since he left._

"_Of course," he grinned, "how could I leave my love?" He moved closer and took my other hand as well._

"_I love you too Alex," His eyes flashed with a smile. "Please don't ever leave me again," I mumbled, embarrassed by my intense need for him to tell me I would never be alone again._

"_Wouldn't dream of it…" he murmured, moving his lips closer to mine…_

My unreality was sharply broken as Cappuccino barked. I glared at her in mock anger. "Shut up you silly dog." I tried to be angry at her for ruining my fantasy at its best part, but when you look at that cute beagle face all your worries disappear, this of course was why she was my best friend, well other than Lily.

A twig snapped to my right and I jumped in fright, I immediately thought of the article I had read, and smacked myself, how could I have been so stupid? The signs were all there, I was just too brainless to notice them. I looked and saw nothing, but as I thought about it more I realized how many similarities I had with the victims. My hair was light brown, my eyes piercing blue, I am 18, I even have a dog! I tried to take a deep breath, but when that attempt at calming myself failed I thought of his face. The picture was blurred both because I hadn't seen him in so many years and because I had no idea what he had grown up to look like. But his chestnut hair was still present, shaggy because I liked to think he kept it that way for my benefit. His hazel eyes looked at me lovingly and his hands were large, warm, and strong, when we were little, the last time I had seen him, he had small soft hands, but I had always thought that he would be a hard worker; his hands encased my face in their warmth and his lips were smooth. While my mind was completely off of the supposed attacker, my heart rate had done the opposite of slow down.

I heard the rustling again and looked around me, towards the source of the sound. _It's just a squirrel or something, this IS the forest after all…_but I knew I couldn't convince myself of that, if it was a squirrel Cappuccino would be tugging on the leash to get it, but instead she was cowering against me. The hair on the back of my neck stood up straight and I had nowhere to run. I had no idea where this thing was. I felt a warm, rough hand grab my waist from behind, another hand hit me hard on the head, as I faded into unconsciousness I felt Cappuccino's leash slip out of my grip. _At least she got away…_

**A/N: Please review :D**

-Elizabeth


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I'm not rich 'cause all I own is Alex… and he is really messed up:)

Alex POV

I am running in the forest, my throat is dry with thirst and my feet are covered in blisters. Only one thing keeps me from running right into that road: Her. I see her blue eyes against her dark skin; I have never seen their equal. She pleads with me. She tells me to stop. She says that She doesn't want me to hurt anyone. She looks at me with disgust. She hates me. Every word from Her lips is just another to appease me, but I would be perfectly appeased if I could just kiss Her, if I could just see Her solidly. If She still remembered me… I bet She has the hottest boyfriend in school, the best grades, the most popular friends; I bet she hasn't thought about me for a long time.

I see a dark blur on the edge of the highway, a girl is digging in the trunk of her car, her hair is light brown… Maybe she would like some help…

It wasn't Her, but she barely screamed. It was Her face I was kissing at least… Not brown eyes, but green, not fat lips, just full, and not white skin, but tanned. Her face scolds me in my mind's eye. As I turn away I again see the shadow of disgust overtaking Her features.

Enough! It's been 8 fucking years. STOP THINKING ABOUT HER! Why can't you move on? Haven't you done enough damage today alone?

I've been running for 6 months. Fucking girls for 3. I don't particularly enjoy it. In fact I often disgust myself with it, or rather, seeing Her hating me disgusts me, she was the most forgiving person I'd ever known. But it is the only thing in this hellhole of a world that can distract me for 5 seconds, from Her. Which doesn't make sense… since it is She that I see. It more of lessens the pain for awhile.

I know I am crazy, probably beyond being institutionalized. But how the hell am I supposed to find Her if I am in a fucking asylum? Simple: I can't. I am selfish, sickeningly so; that's why She hates me. But as long as She hates me, I at least get to see her.

She has saved me before, She will save me again, I just know it. She is the only thing keeping me here, my only reason for living, my only reason for being a human.

But it has been 8 years and She hasn't come. We never even said goodbye to each other. We never confessed our feelings, but I never felt like we needed too. We kissed once when we were 10 on a dare under the slide at recess. The last time I saw her came a few short weeks after that.

Our elementary lives were perfect and child-like. We loved as much as anyone could, we were the best of friends. We ran on the beaches, made fun of old Quileute legends, found secret hideouts, and just generally laughed our heads off. It was the best part of my life.

Until my mom decided it was time to move. It was as though something had happened in the middle of the night, because she just woke me up and said, "We're leaving. I have all you need, let's go."

"But-" I protested, rubbing the sleep from my tired eyes.

"No we are leaving Now." She grabbed my wrist and started to pull me away, I reached for the blanket we had made together out of fleece ties. It had a large picture of those frowning mushrooms from the Mario Brothers. She had given it to me for my last birthday, saying that I needed one because I was always so crabby. But my mother pulled me away and said, "You don't need that piece of crap."

The memory faded and I thought of my mom. She had died 8 months ago. Probably from lung cancer she smoked almost 2 packs a day, sometimes more, and never went to the doctor saying it was a waste of money. I didn't miss her at all, I hated my mother. But I did miss her money, the little she had left behind, no matter how I budgeted it it dwindled away to nothing within two months. So I had ran, away from civilization, shelter, food, clothing, I took all that was usable in the house A.K.A. nothing. I had a broken down pair of shoes and some nearly empty lighters. My father was never more than, "That bitch left me day after he met me, leaving me with you. Don't you ask any questions about him, you dumb shit." That's what my darling mother always said anyway.

About 2 ½ months after I had been living in the streets, I saw a girl, her tan skin and light brown hair reminded me immediately of Her. I was in shock. I had been so lost, my image of her had been fading from lack of nutrition. I have been keeping myself dirty but presentable in order to smooch off kind old ladies, but they never seemed to have more than a piece of bread and a cookie. Then, without thinking further than the fact that I was slightly presentable I followed her, she walked down one of the many dark alleys of Port Angeles and I took her. The feeling of relief for being painless for just 5 seconds after 8 years of pure agony was the most beautiful thing I could have imagined, so I continued, picking out girls around Her age, that looked even in the slightest bit like Her. I knew She would be angry at me if She knew it was me, but then She probably hated me anyway, for leaving Her like that. Life moved on and I unconsciously moved closer and closer to Forks and La Push. I found a girl with the exact same shape of lips, I swear, and took her too.

They all blurred together to form the perfect picture of her, and I breathed that image.

The next morning I ran towards La Push, the place of my birth, where She once lived. I ran quickly and quietly through the woods. My feet were burning with blisters, as my shoes were now long gone, and stopped only when I heard the sweetest noise, a person humming. I crept silently through the brush, stopping short when I saw the most beautiful being in the world, I was sure of it. She had long light brown hair, a good dark tan-colored skin, a beagle on the end of a leash, I smiled, She had wanted a beagle, She was going to name it Cappuccino, like She had named her stuffed beagle when she had been little.

She was humming the prettiest song in a voice that sounded like silver bells, I sighed, and the dog must have heard it because it barked, she stopped humming and I almost sighed again; disappointed, until she scolded her dog playfully, "Shut up you silly dog," she said in a teasing voice that made the world stop spinning, I stepped towards the beautiful sound, and accidentally snapped a twig beneath my foot. She jolted and whipped around at the sound. I quickly ducked and moved noiselessly through the brush until I was behind her, she had frozen and I took this as my only opportunity, I grabbed her from the back and knocked her out. I picked her up and took her to an abandoned house I had found nearly 9 years ago. I had taken Her to this place. This one was too perfect to take right there in a clearing in the forest, she deserved more than the average girl. I got her settled and sat on an upturned log, waiting for her to wake. She stirred…

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapters, but that's just how I feel it has to be for a little bit, I can almost promise you the next chapter will be short too. Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Twilight, the Cullens, Bella, Charlie, and blah blah blah, yah I own nothing except the plot and charaters you don't recognize. I make no money from this.

I slowly regained conciousness. I did not open my eyes, instead I let my other senses range out without moving. The air smelled of burning pine, dust, and burnt fish. The ground felt like it was dirt and there was no light coming through my eyelids. It felt like there was, not a breeze, just an uncomfortable amount of air movement, I felt exposed. I realized with a jolt that I wasn't wearing any clothes. Oh. My. Gosh. I had been kidnapped by the rapist. Duh! Why didn't I see it? _I_ had dark brown hair, tan skin, and was of average, possibly slightly shorter, height. And he _had _been moving towards Forks and La Push, my house was just on the edge of La Push.

Crap.

This was _not _in my plans for my senior year in high school. Well, I certainly couldn't struggle, he'd hurt me, I couldn't run, same outcome there, and I couldn't keep pretending to be asleep. But if I saw him I could identify him and send him to jail, where he couldn't hurt another girl. As for the rest of it I could shut off all my senses. It's not as hard as it sounds; I have actually done it many times before. When you have lost the love of your life abruptly it makes it easier when you can't feel a thing. I could act completely dead, while being alive, I didn't think, and if I did it was about Him. Nothingness was my happy place. With this plan in my head I opened my eyes.

At first it was complete darkness, but as my eyes adjusted I saw that he was not in the room, a huge relief. I also saw that my arms and legs were tied to sticks stuck deeply into the ground. Crap. On the wall to the left of me about 10 feet away was a door. Through the door was a flickering shadow that I guessed to be from the psycho sitting in front of a small fire. Probably the source of the poorly cooked fish. I looked around again and saw two windows, one on the wall behind me, and one on the wall to the right of me. In the corner I saw a pile of acorn shells, the meat of the nut long peeled out and eaten by critters. I knew this place. He had taken me here a few months before He left. I remember peeling all those acorns, "making the squirrels job easier," He'd said. It took everything I had not to break down screaming and crying right there. Despite my attempts to calm myself I couldn't prevent a few silent tears from traveling down my cheeks and my next few breathes were rough and jagged, I swallowed the monstrous lump three times before it went completely away. Unfortunately, he noticed the change. He got up and moved towards me. I tried to see his face, but it was in shadow. I gave one sigh of defeat before beginning to close off each sense, one by one. I felt him touch me for a millisecond before that sense too was gone.

I stayed in my happy place much longer than I should need to before finally letting sound in, I heard nothing, so I let my body feel again. Again, nothing but a blanket and myself. The blanket was new, but not threatening. I began to smell, nothing bad, I cautiously let myself taste again, afraid of what taste would be in my mouth. There was actually a sour, unclean taste of morning breath, but, thankfully, not a hint of him. Then, I opened my eyes. I saw myself wrapped in a blanket. The man who disgusts every cell in my being sat foolishly cross-legged in front of me. He appeared to be meditating. Why was he still here? From the reports it sounded as though he normally left before the girls had breath to scream; he also seemed to get it over with and not move his victims and then wait for them to wake up. My breath hitched in fear of what was next, and he opened his eyes.

I refused to allow the perfect combination of shaggy chestnut hair, bare-chested muscles, and hazel eyes get to me, but a hint of recognition wormed its way into my thoughts. The childish chub had left his face, revealing sharp bones beneath a thin layer of skin, but that nose, those eyes, they were unmistakable. He looked just like He should look, and my heart melted. But He would never do this, this was a different person, obviously. Firm in the belief that this was someone else I couldn't help but ask myself, what had this man gone through to come to this? Why were the lines of pain on his face so deep? Why are the creases around his eyes so faded from lack of smiling? Why is he still watching me?

Despite the common compassion I felt for him, I kept my glare steady, not daring to back down. I wanted freedom, and I would settle for nothing less than honest answers before I left.

I thought I saw a spasm of pain shoot across his face as well when he opened those gorgeous eyes, but it was gone before I could be sure. I fought to keep from screaming at him, it would do me no good. I composed myself and waited for him to speak.

He didn't, but continued to stare at me as if trying to see into my soul, to figure me out; it made me uncomfortable.

"Why?" I asked.

He looked at me questioningly, "Why what?"

"Why do you do this?" I replied.

"I meditate because it keeps me calm and organized." Smart Aleck.

I frowned at him, and looked away as he flashed me an innocent smile. I got up, and made towards the window on the wall behind me, which was nearest to my house. If my readings were right, he wouldn't let me go so easily, he wanted to know me.

"Where are you going?" He stood up and moved towards me, grabbing my wrist. I shuddered and shook him off angrily.

"I am going home, get off of me."

"You can't. You don't know how to get out, or where you are." He said smugly, as if he knew everything.

"Yes I do, I know that the door is heavy duty, and bolted shut, so I can't leave through there, I also know that my house is this way," I again began towards the window. He was smart enough not to touch me this time.

His face crumpled as he realized he had nothing to hold me here. His eyes grew large and sorrowful. "Please," he whispered. "Please, just tell me your name, I… I have to know."

"Will you let me go then, and never bother anyone here again?"

He swallowed. "Yes." I knew better than to ask him to stop, but if I got his name then they might be able to catch him.

"Then you have to tell me yours."

"Why do you think that I am so stupid as to give you my name?"

"I have a right. Everyone will want to know who my technical "first" was, since you ruined it for whoever is my chosen first." It was true, but there wasn't anyone I was anywhere close to choosing for now, but that wouldn't help my case.

"Why should I trust you?" He asked, still wary, he didn't seem to care about my previous argument.

"I didn't say you had to, I don't trust you, and yet you took away my innocence. Anyway, you obviously have nothing to do in life other than ruin girls lives, so why is jail such a bad choice if I do rat you out?"

He seemed to be having some kind of internal debate. "Well, I do hate doing this. What the hell. Okay." Yes! "But," Oh no the dreaded but. "you have to say yours at the same time." Phew! Not near as bad as I'd imagined.

"Fine. Full name, and I can tell if you're lying," I bluffed.

"1… 2… 3… Alex Campbell."

"Lisa Oak." We both physically cringed. Wait. Both?

I spoke first. "Alexander James Campbell?" He slowly nodded, shock written all over his features. I couldn't take it, this couldn't be him…

I fainted.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing. So sue me, because people in courts don't have enough to do already.

APOV:

I caught her as she fell. "Lisa?" I asked. "Lisa?" Lisa. I can't believe it's her! Shit. How could I do this to her? My Love. My Lisa. It felt so good to say or even to think her name. I hadn't thought it consciously in over 7 years. But now what was happening to her? I did this to her, I just caused her pain, I know I have caused her pain before, but how could I do this to her? She once loved me!

I started to shake with self-hatred. This had happened only once before. When the money ran out. I have to calm down, what if I hurt her more? In… Out… In… Out. The shaking slowed and stopped. I focused on what you're supposed to do when someone faints. Okay. I need my backpack. I gently layed her down and put her legs on top of my backpack. I grabbed a few scraps of cloth and dipped them in some water I had boiled this morning. It was mostly cool now so I put the rags on her face and neck. I covered her with my scratchy blanket. I put her clothes next to her, she could get dressed when she came to.

I watched her worriedly as the sun rose. What if she doesn't wake up? How will she react to me? She must hate me. She won't want to be near me. I pushed myself up against the wall, as far from her as I could stand to be.

She stirred. Then with a jolt she jerked upright, and fumbled to keep herself covered. She was so adorable. "Alex?" She said uncertainly.

"Lisa?" I replied, not knowing how else to respond. I knew my face looked foolishly hopeful, like she would ever even have a reasonable conversation with me, I'm a monster. But this here was the best heaven there could ever be, seeing her eyes, hearing her breath, her not yet conscious enough to run.

She must have liked that answer because she threw her strong thin arms around my neck. I hugged her back, and held back a sigh. She didn't, she just let it out. I squeezed and pulled away, knowing that once she was fully awake she would shudder away.

"Are you alright?" She laughed- _laughed_; it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Better than I have been in 8 long years." I stared in wonder. She really cared about me that much? We were 10 back then. Then I smiled, her words settling right in my soul, I would take this kindness for as long as she would provide it, and then when she banished me I would never forget it.

"How are you?" She asked, reaching forward. I stared at her outstretched hand, confused. She sighed and grabbed my hand off of my thigh. I stared, not able to contain my shock.

"Better than you, are you feeling alright?"

"Impossible, I am feeling wonderfully." she scoffed.

"I don't think so." I smiled, despite the truth of my words. Then her smiled faded.

"Why?" She asked, and I knew we weren't talking about how good we felt anymore. I sighed.

"I couldn't stop myself, I lost control."

"But _why_? I know who you are, and I know how strong you are, why would you do that? What _happened_?" The concern in her voice was astonishing.

My answer was simple, "I lost you."

"You lost me eight years ago. Why now?" Her questions deserved the truth, hell _she_ in all her beauty and compassion deserved the truth.

"My mother died. The money ran out." Her response surprised me.

"She is dead? Finally!" I laughed. I could see the apology on her face.

"No, I was glad too, I hated that woman. The only sad part was seeing her money go. The little I had anyway."

"So, what you go start raping girls?" I almost laughed at her bluntness, again she looked guilty, but the curiosity was just as obvious in her eyes.

"No, I was already insane. I had been living off the streets and kind old ladies for 2 ½ months when I saw a girl who had your hair and skin. I was obsessed, and thinking only of you. I hated doing it to them. But the pain of leaving you would always fade for just a few seconds, enough to be satisfying." I took a deep breath. "I missed you. I love you." I tensed not knowing what she'd do.

"I love you too, Alex." She said it so matter-of-factly, like she had said it a thousand times, like she told me this every day. She didn't even look at me, but continued to stare at the ground. I stared. She is so perfect. She seemed to come out of her trance. She met my eyes. She read the question there. 8 years and we could still read each other. It made it so _real_. She smiles sheepishly and told me of her dreams. How she told me this often in her fantasies. Then she smiled in awe. "You love me too?" Of course I did!

"How could I not? You're perfect and beautiful in every way." She smiled and held my hand, her thumb stroking the back of it, I closed my eyes in satisfaction of her acceptance. Then the rubbing halted, and I met her worried gaze.

"What do we do now?" I had no answer for her.

A/N: I felt kind of like I was channeling Edward for a bit there, so sorry, Alex doesn't generally have such low self-esteem, but he is really ashamed right here, for obvious reasons. Review?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Yah, I own nothing. Oh look a beaver dam!

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated, I know it was kind of mean of me to leave you hanging there, but to tell you the truth, I left myself hanging too. It took a long time to figure out how to continue. But, now I think I got it. Hope it works out. Please review!

LPOV:

The silence stretched for what seemed like hours. Then my angel sighed and looked away from the window into my eyes. He smiled. I returned it half-halfheartedly. I had no idea what to do now. I couldn't bear to leave him again, I would die, but what about my friends? My parents? Wouldn't it be odd if I just disappeared and then came back with a guy that I'm all over? Unholy Crap! _I'm missing! _The beautiful being in front of me opened His mouth to speak. I spoke first.

"How long have I been here?"A look of shock crossed His face, He hadn't thought of it either. Well, I wasn't thinking to clearly right now either. I almost couldn't look at Him without getting lost in those swirling hazel pools.

"Umm…" He closed His eyes, trying to think. His gorgeous eyes opened as they widened. A look of growing shock overcame His face. He opened his mouth and breathed out, "Almost 30 hours."

I almost fainted again. _30 hours?!?_ My parents would be totally freaking out after just 2 hours of me being gone. I had left my cell phone on my bedside table. I had no idea where Cappuccino was. Anabelle, Bill, little Sarah, Chris, and Beth (My sister, her husband, their little 10 month old baby, my brother, and his fiancee) had probably come home too. Poor Sarah, she'd had to be in the car for an hour again, she hated the car. I almost smiled thinking of my beautiful little niece. Then I started to hyperventilate. **30 HOURS! **

Yet, leaving Him now would kill me. Even if we could somehow convince my parents that He had nothing to do with my missing, that I'd stayed at a friend's house or something we would not be alone like this for a long time. My family would be all over me and would still be suspicious of Alex. I once told my mom I loved him, she had known him. I was only 11 of course, just not being able to bear the agony any longer, hoping she could help me move on, but saying His name had only made it worse. She had most likely forgot about him, but if she told dad he would freak out and start screaming at Alex. He was very protective of his little girl. I had no doubt that Alex was protective of me too. I could not have them fighting. Lily also knew, I mean she was my best friend, my love for Him wasn't a secret. She noticed my depression after He left, everyone did. Only Lily knew I never got over Him. I just did my best to hide the pain. Crying myself to sleep every night. Nightmares consisted of the day I found out he was gone.

When the teacher took attendance I noticed His name wasn't even called, it was like He didn't exist. I asked the teacher during recess, yes we had recess in 4th grade. She said nothing, didn't look at me, just went over to scold a child that had been straying to far from everyone else. I guessed He had called in sick, so she knew He wouldn't be here, that's why she didn't call his name for attendance. Then why was she being so secretive? I didn't know. After school I went to where his horrible mom worked. The boss acted as though she didn't even know who the Campbells were. I was aggravated by now, but fear, grief, and pain were ripping their way through my body, making it hard to walk to the street where He lived. I had never been in His house, but I had watched the bus drop Him off here everyday for 3 years. His house was empty. His neighbor Samantha told me she'd heard a car drive off at around midnight, after a bit of shouting. She hadn't gotten up to investigate, her parents would have been angry at her for it, after all it wasn't a secret that Alex's mom had been a trouble maker, to say the least. I had dared to go into the house, He would have been unhappy with me, He was ashamed of his house, but I had to know if He was really gone.

When I went inside I was shocked. The place was hell on earth. There were dust, bugs, and trash covering every surface. They were overflowing ashtrays everywhere, along with cigarette butts all over everywhere else. The place stank of smoke and stale alcohol. I hated the smell of smoke, and alcohol definitely wasn't my favorite smell. I went down the hall. I found a bedroom, that looked like His. It was a mixture between little toddler and rebellious preteen. The place still had baby blue abc wallpaper, a small blue dresser. It had a mass of heavy metal band posters stuck on the wall, trying, unsuccessfully, to cover up the juvenile wallpaper that His mom refused to replace. The bed was twin sized with simple black sheets and pillowcases. In the middle of the bed was the stuffed crab-apple I had given Him for his last birthday, it had a huge crabby face on it. I had told Him He needed it because He was always so crabby. When I saw it I always used to wake up screaming into my pillow with grief. I had learned over the years to put a million tears into one meaningful silent tear. How to grieve with all my being without a single squeak or sound of any kind.

I had this dream or others like it every night. During the day I covered up the shadows under my eyes with concealer, and use eyeliner so you could barely see the puffiness of my eyes anymore. With my friends it was easier to pretend that everything was just a dream, I could smile and laugh. But, as soon as I was alone or just with Cappuccino I had to slip into nothingness or a daydream, otherwise suffocating pain would consume me. Singing helped, or just humming, music made me feel that others had experienced this sort of pain too.

I was brought back to the present as Alex spoke, "Lisa? Are you okay?" I looked at His worried face and relaxed in His arms.

"30 hours?" I asked calmly, safe in His arms but, praying that it was less.

"Maybe more." He nodded cautiously.

"I have to go," I said regretfully.

His arms tightened around me. I looked at Him questioningly, "I can't lose you again." One look at His face told me He wasn't kidding. I was almost consumed with joy, at the fact that he couldn't leave me either, until the conversation came back to me.

"What will we do?" I repeated my previous question. I thought about it, He could change His name, and move into the spare room, ever since Chris went to college we had an extra bedroom. But, under what context? An orphan? Even though that's what he was it wouldn't look good, my parents probably wouldn't let him just live here. I sighed and stared out the window, Alex was quiet, knowing I wanted to answer my question myself, and having no answer himself, he didn't know what my family was like anymore.

I thought, about everything that had happened since my love took me to this place, I thought about the morning before I had left. I wondered where Cappuccino was and opened my mouth to ask when a picture popped up in my mind. The newspaper. I scanned the headlines in my photographic memory, wondering what my subconscious was trying to tell me. I looked to the part of the article that I hadn't read, skipping over names, the article talked about a nineteen-year-old orphan that had been raped by Him, she killed herself after the incident, I held back my pity for the girl and anger at my love for hurting this girl who had such a horrible child-hood, even though she was older than me, as I scanned the rest of the article, it said nothing about family. Only mentioned that she had one older brother and one younger brother. Both of age.

I held back my gasp of delight. This would be enough of a sob story that my parents would let him into our house. It was the weekend so if I called Lily, I'm sure she would tell my parents that I had stayed in her apartment over the weekend, I would just have to tell her the truth later. That would not be pleasant, although Lily had never mentioned it out loud to me I knew that if I let him back, she would attempt to fight him, without even knowing what really happened, and let me tell you, Chessie Lily Sonrisa ( **A/N: **She made up the name, so don't blame me, Sonrisa is smiley in Spanish, if you didn't know, yah I was confused too, but I said, Whatever :P), although very fierce, was no match for my buff dream man, and even though He wouldn't want to hurt her for my sake, Alex cannot say no to a fight, it's one of his flaws. I never said he was the most perfect man in the universe, my universe? well, that is a different story. A little truth bending never hurt anyone did it? I hope not, but I didn't have time to look it up.

So, what? I met him in Port Angeles while Lily and I were shopping? That could work, then we took him with us, I would show him to my parents, tell his story of living with his older sister, her coming home bruised, beaten, and emotionally dead. That she took too many pills and left her brothers with a suicide note. How his older brother didn't live with them and didn't care that his little sister was dead, how he didn't even come up when he heard she was dead. How he read the note saying she was raped and couldn't deal with life anymore, that it was way too painful. That she had very little money to leave, and her little brother spent it all on burial and death taxes. How he was walking feeling sorry for himself when he ran into us and we felt sorry for him and said he could come with us, and that we could find a place for him to live, since he couldn't pay for the apartment on his own with his current job at McDonald's. Here in the story we would smile and ask in pleading voices if He could stay. I smiled as I closed my eyes and scanned the article for my love's new name.

"Hello Hayden Puckett." I smiled at the angel in front of me.

"Is that my new name?" The beautiful being asked,confused.

"Yes." I replied. Then I told him my plan.

We cleaned up the area and buried his stuff under the acorn shells and we both smiled at the memories, glad that we could freely think of them without pain, now that we were in each other's arms. We went to the creek and found a place where there was a huge line of trees coming up from the water that was about 5 feet deep and fairly clear, you could see to the bottom. We bathed on opposite sides of the trees I made it clear that there was no peeking allowed. Especially since we knew now who we each were. When we were sort-of clean we got dressed and set off hand in hand to the road and then to Lily's apartment. I told Alex/Hayden to wait outside, she couldn't see him yet. I went up to her floor and pressed the buzzer. When she opened the door she screamed and hugged me. "Your parents are worried sick, but I knew you'd pull through."

"Suuure you did Lily. Did my parents talk to you yet?"

"They called, I said 'hello' they said 'Lisa's missing' and hung up before I could say anything else. I tried to call them back but the line was busy."

"Thank God! Okay, Lily, I need you to tell them that I was at your house all weekend. Can you please?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but its been almost 32 hours that you've been missing. Where have you been?"

Oh crap, I didn't want to tell her this yet, but I knew it was coming. "I found Alex."

"Oh My God, you didn't sleep with him did you?" She asked, she knew how strongly I felt for him, but she also knew I was a Christian, yet, who wouldn't assume this? I had been with Him over night.

"No, I didn't." She knew that I was hiding something, I could tell, she didn't press, but she would soon. I decided to tell her a bit more so that she would stay away from this topic a bit longer. "I fainted and he took care of me, we talked, and then I realized what time it was. I need you to tell my parents I was here, he's going as Hayden Puckett… I told her the rest of the story (except of course what really happened last night). She asked to see Him and I brought my personal angel up to see her. SHE almost fainted, I mean he is REALLY hot, and cute, and perfect, and… yah, you get the point, anyway because my love was so cute, she didn't attack Him, for which I was grateful.

As I watched the beauty descend the steps in awe Lily whispered in my ear, "You will tell me the whole truth later." Damn! She knew I was hiding something. Stupid smart best friend.

We went home, around 5:00 and only my little brother Martin was home Martin was sixteen, and the most annoying brother in the world. Sure I joked with him often, but he was pure evil. He said he hated me, but I knew he loved me, just like I loved him, he was my brother, and I would never let anything bad happen to him, but I would never tell him that. Again, Alex stayed outside at first. When Martin saw me he ran up and hugged me.

"Lisa! You're home!"

"Nope, I'm just a figment of your imagination, yes, I'm home, now let… me… go… can't… breathe." I joked as he let me go and ran to the phone. I went outside to get my love and told Him that we had to act like friends at the most, possibly only acquaintances. He sighed at this, but knew there was no other way. We went inside and sat down just as Martin came back into the room, we were sitting at opposite ends of the couch, lying down, my legs stretched behind His longer ones. Martin froze momentarily and then sat down in the armchair.

Martin tried to seem nonchalant when he asked where I had been, but he eyed Alex suspiciously as he said it.

"I was with Lily. Oh! I guess you don't know Hayden, Martin this is Hayden Puckett, Lily and I found him while shopping in Port Angeles. He has no home so I offered him the spare room in ours." I struggled to keep my eyes away from Alex as I spoke, I knew if I looked at him it would seem as though I loved him, and Martin could not know how we felt. I got up to go to the kitchen and when Alex looked like he would follow I glared at him until he sat back down, luckily Martin was too absorbed in the T.V. show to notice.

I looked for the paper and picked it up, leaning against the counter as I read it. I heard Alex get up and come in here. Darn him! I thought but stopped when I scanned the headlines, The girl he had last raped (besides me) was in the hospital after attempting to commit suicide. It was sad, but it gave him the perfect reason to stop. Now no one would think Alex had been the guilty one when he suddenly shows up just as the rapes stop. I held his hand and gestured to the article he quickly read it and I said, "It gives you the perfect reason to stop," he smiled and nodded, he kissed my hand, and my hand burned with pleasure at his touch. Then he let my hand go and I walked over to the fridge as Martin came in, he noticed the distance between us, nodded and asked me for a can of pop, I gave it to him and he left. I heated up some leftovers for me and Alex, we ate hungrily. I put the dishes in the dishwasher as I heard my mom come home. I peeked out the window and saw mom getting her stuff out of the car, dad came up the drive on his motorcycle and helped mom. They hugged(ewww, its disgusting when old people hug like that), and came inside I took Alex into the family room just as the door opened he sat in the armchair and I sat on the couch with Martin, they walked inside and I took a deep breath as I prepared for the worst, they entered the room, here it goes…

A/N: Cliffy! Sorry, again about the wait, I have been reading non-stop, mainly stuff by JasperSAYSrelax128, seriously CHECK OUT HER STUFF! It's AMAZING!! Please review! I have gotten one that totally made me happy, but I would LOVE to get more. I love all constructive criticism and well, even plain old rude stuff would be fine, as long as you tell me WHAT is wrong, anyway, I'm rambling, so please REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Actually so far this is ALL mine, well except for the shaking, shhhhhh…

A/N: Hey, I have been really rude to anyone out there who is reading this, sorry. But, right now I'm sick so I have time to type out this chapter. I know it has been forever, but with school, the holidays, my grandpa and my dog dying, among other crap it has been really hard to post, thanks for reading, and Enjoy!

My mom gave a high-pitched squeal that hurt my ears-she is SUCH a little girl sometimes- and ran over to me; squeezing the day-lights out of me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alex shifting from foot to foot nervously, and _clenching his fists??_ My dad chuckled at his wife's silliness, but with one glance to me he walked over and gave me a huge 'bear hug' as he calls it. I hugged him back, thankful he wasn't yelling. Martin, now that mom and dad were home, sat as close as possible to me, probably to show his 'brotherly love' to me, or to make sure Alex/Hayden, wouldn't sit next to me, too bad I had two sides. I tried to keep a confused face at first, sticking to the story. They asked me where I had been and faux realization dawned on my face, followed quickly by guilt and puppy-dog eyes. (How good am I?)

"I'm so sorry," I said, sincerity leaking into my façade. "I was at Lily's house, I guess I forgot to call, I'm so so sorry I forgot, you weren't too worried, were you?" I was afraid, that last sentence would cost me, I was normally quite smart, playing dumb wasn't me.

They seemed to chalk it off as worry and just went back to hugging me. I smiled at Alex, who my mom had shoved across the room in order to hug me, whose envious glare relaxed into a full-blown grin as he looked at me. I was glad the whole shaking thing was really starting to freak me out. We connected for a few seconds, silently telling each other the love we felt, letting ourselves bask in each other's eyes, knowing that for a while following this we would have to act as only friends. All too soon, Dad pulled away, Martin and Mom following. I tried to smile at them, but I just wanted to pout at the fact that my moment with Alex was over.

I was tired, and I yawned, my family staring at me with understanding eyes, but Dad, always the practical one, said, "Honey, I know you must be tired, but obviously we have a few questions for you." Alex and my eyes connected once again, defeat portrayed this time. "Yes, I think that is a good place to start, who is this man with you?" Dad asked. I gulped, Dad could be fierce, yet internally I glowed with his classification of man, not boy, I had me a man.

"This is Hayden…?" I looked at him questioningly, as if I didn't know the plan. "Puckett." He replied, smiling. "Right, Puckett" gosh I hate lying. "Lily and I were in the store getting some junk food for the sleep over and he walked right up to us and very nicely asked if we perhaps had a place to stay, you see his parents both died, and because he was over eighteen the government didn't do anything for him, and his parents only left a little bit of money, and that's it, they died in a car crash, so he didn't even have a car, they had no life insurance so Hayden was forced to use the money he had already been saving from his job and his parents money to buy a car, he had a job, but then the place went out of business with the bad economy. So Hayden here was forced to find a new job, he sold the house and has a little bit of money, but nowhere to live, and he is going to try to get the open job at the diner where I work, he can pay rent." Finished with my monologue I looked at my parents hopefully.

My mom's cheeks glistened as she looked sympathetically at Alex, who looked rather uncomfortable. "He doesn't have to pay rent, we have an extra room, but Lisa, he will have to stay in your room for a few days, your siblings are coming tomorrow." Mom said, with tears still in her eyes. "And no funny business you two," my Dad said sharply. I tried to hold back my squeal of delight, but even so, a small squeak came out which I covered with a cough. Alex silently laughed, seeing right through my cover-up, as I hugged my mom and dad I stuck my tongue out at him, he just shook harder with laughter.

"Go to sleep you two, the rest of the family will be here when you wake up," I had missed that earlier, I had been too excited,

"What?!? It's not like I was at Chessie's for a week!" Gosh, such overeactors. I sighed and walked upstairs with Alex, as soon as they couldn't see us we reached for each other's hands. The feel of his warm hand in mine relaxed me like nothing else, I stared into his eyes and gladly got lost there, knowing that I loved him. I was about to make some witty remark about him meeting the parents for the first time when I saw in his eyes the love that I felt, portrayed perfectly, I'm positive my heart stopped beating then and there, as all measure of time got lost. I heard Martin's annoying stomp up the stairs, probably angry that he had to go to sleep, I knew he wanted to play more of his current video game obsession, Halo, I don't know what number, so don't ask me, but that was what he was playing these days. We entered my room and I said that I would change in the bathroom adjacent to my room. We got ready for bed with no interference and he somehow talked me into sleeping in my bed and him on the couch next to it, don't ask me how it was done, I'm experiencing a bit of amnesia on that part… I do know that I fell asleep staring into his eyes, and for the first time in eight years, I slept without dreams.

A/N: YAY! This one is done! I kinda liked it, please, please, please review! Thanks!!!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here is the next one, yay for sickness!!!

I was awakened by the squeal of my sister-in-law, Beth, along with the weight of a baby on my stomach. I rubbed my eyes and began playing with Sarah, I was sore, EVERYWHERE, ugh. As I stretched my eyes fell on the alarm clock.

"4:00 in the morning?!? Gosh people let me sleep!" I whisper-yelled, Alex was already awake staring at me as I played with Sarah and shaking with laughter. I looked at Bill and scolded, "How dare you let your child be up at this time!" He smiled.

" Normally she would be up now anyway, and she slept most of the plane ride." Anabelle told me, and then she ran up and hugged me. Chris came up too, leading Beth, and hugged me tightly, before allowing Beth to have a turn, and she hugged me excitedly and immediately began talking.

"Beth, you and Chris should sleep right now, we can talk in the morning." Beth is my best friend, next only to Lily, she is the happiest person I know, and I love her so much, I see her anytime I can, but with Chris's job as a professor at the college in Seattle, I don't see her near as much as I would like. Chris and I are also really close, ever since he met Beth we just grew closer and closer, and he and Beth are kind of my mentor when it comes to God too, so it's all pretty good. Bill is like the polar opposite of Chris, but they are great friends, Bill is the kind of big brother you always hear about in books and movies, a jock, hilarious, and loyal to the end, Chris is a nerd, soft-spoken, and has a huge wall that is really hard to get through, but he will be there whenever you need him to be. I love Anabelle, but a few years ago we had a huge fight over the fact that she was making some questionable decisions, shortly after she found Bill and we became friends, it is obvious that she is really sorry for what she did, but we haven't really talked about it yet and so we aren't yet perfect.

Beth smiled and she and Chris headed across the hall to the room Chris had when he lived here. Martin was probably in the family room now, most likely the cause of the earlier stomping, so Bill left to go take their stuff up there. Anabelle sat next to me and began making weird faces at Sarah who laughed, and grabbed her nose. Bill set some stuff down in the room next to mine and then brought in a fold-away crib which he set up at the foot of my bed. Anabelle left and came back in with Sarah's diaper bag, which she gave to me, I smiled, my room was the largest, other than the master bedroom, so Sarah normally stayed in here, which I absolutely loved. Anabelle and Bill smiled at me and then left to their bedroom. I changed Sarah into her cute little pj's and changed her diaper. Then I got out her bottle and sat in the glider I had been given for whenever Sarah was over, or I was babysitting, as I often did. I began humming and looked over to Alex who was staring at me in wonder as if I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He got up and walked over to a chair next to me, then started humming in harmony with me. I watched Sarah's eyes slowly drift closed, and felt my own doing the same. I fell asleep to the sound of my love's humming.

A/N: This chapter is kinda short, but you got two today, so yeah. I know that Lisa is still being built up and that some things are probably confusing, but right now I'm trying to figure out who she is just as much as you are. Thanks for reading, please review!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry! I have been writing, I filled up almost an entire notebook with the next few chapters, I just haven't been typing, look! I am posting now, and have a new story up! Yay! Right? Yeah.

Hey just to let everyone know, I am not a fan of writing about the human body, it always makes me feel awkward, but Lisa IS pregnant and we will find that out next chapter I believe, and since most of this will be from her point of view there will be mention of what she goes through as a pregnant lady, so yeah, at some points even I am just like, awkward, but I believe that to fully get everything these things must be mentioned.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, not even Jasper, no matter how many times I randomly scream his name as I hit a volleyball. But at least I get Alex! Aren't fictional characters amazing? Gosh I love them!

LPOV:

When I awoke, I awoke to beauty. In my arms Sarah was fast alsleep, and Alex had scooted his chair so close to mine that I could feel the heat from his body. He was holding my hand and I felt a rush of pleasure at that. His ankle was touching mine. Every place that it was possible for us to be touching we were, and I was happy because I know that he doesn't just want to screw me, he had a night for that. No, the man I loved actually cared, and loved me, even in unconciousness. I slowly got up, careful wake him. Looking out of the window I saw that it was about 7:30 in the morning. I gingerly set Sarah down in her crib and put her small blanket on her body, cold now without the heat of mine. I finally had a chance to stretch, and man was I sore. I went to take a shower, and when I looked at myself I shuddered. He certainly did screw me. No, it wasn't horrible, I would just have to avoid people when changing in gym and I wouldn't be able to go swimming for a few weeks, welp, it's La Push, I can deal. I finished my shower and got dressed. I went downstairs to get some food, food is good. I saw the empty blankets on the couch and remembered that I had to go to school today, well crap it. I turned around and began skipping up the stairs. I ran into a wall. It was large, and had a gray cloth on it. I felt it. My hands traveled up and up. I found a sort of ledge, shoulders. I made small grunts of approval as my hands continued their exploration, of the upper body of this wall. Alex grabbed my hands and kissed each one. I smiled at him.

"You're already up." I accused.

"Yes, yes I am. How are you this morning?"

"Well I am doing alright, except for the fact that about 25 seconds ago I realized that we have to go to school today. You?" He groaned. I grinned and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the stairs with me. He smiled and followed me. I heard Martin grabbing his backpack and pulled Alex faster. "C'mon!!" I rushed towards the door, grabbing the keys off their hook and smiling triumphantly. I held them above my head as Martin grabbed at them. "Whoever touches them second gets to ride shotgun!" I smiled, creating a new rule to the daily game now that we had to fit three people into the glory that was our truck. Our hand-me-down, old blue truck.

Martin reached for the keys, but he was shorter than I was, that would never change. Alex, being a few inches taller than I, reached up and easily touched the keys, just as I had planned. Martin groaned. Alex and I chuckled as we got in the front. The ride to school was a glare contest between Martin and I through the rearview mirror, Alex laughed at us silently. I glared at him next.

We finally got to school without further incident. I waved good-bye to Martin as he headed to class. I steered Alex toward the office. We got his schedule and went to class. We only had one class apart, I could deal with that. Martin had Calculus with us, stupid smart person. School passed slowly, but uneventfully. Alex and I struggled to act like just friends, and we tried to use Hayden as his name, we didn't slip. Although I think that Lily caught us holding hands once, but if she did she didn't mention it.

A/N: Short, I know, sorry. Review please

~Wish my name was Elizabeth (Or Molly Jean)~


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Here is the next one! My computer died, sorry, so now I am using my dad's laptop .

Disclaimer: Don't own, sad.

LPOV:

When we got home there was a note left on the counter from mom. 'Unload/Reload the dishwasher'. I stared at the mountain of dishes in the sink I groaned, as I showed Alex the note he copied me. Well, at least Martin wasn't home, he was at Mathletes, nerd. Ugh, I hate math, luckily Alex enjoys it, ha, some things will never change! The man always does the taxes!

WHOA, wait a second here, NOT an okay train of thought Lisa! Marriage? Really? No, right now we are just supposed to be friends anyway, at least to the public. Let's move back to the present, the dishwasher. I opened it and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was only half-full. Alex watched me from his position leaning against the counter, this I allowed as he really knew where nothing went. Soon I had put away all the dishes and began to load in the dirty ones, Alex remained still. I glared at him from the corner of my eye, he was leaning against the counter right next to the dishwasher, with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked so hot, with his chestnut hair hanging slightly in his right eye. I averted my eyes just before I fell into those swirling pools of luscious hazel, I had work to do.

I moved again towards the towering piles of dishes next to the sink, and began putting in any and all silverware. Alex made no move to help, I smiled evilly. I gingerly picked up a container of some rotten food with as little contact as possible, and set its slimy outside on top of his crossed arms.

"Sh*t!" He jumped. I laughed as he grimaced and peeled the sickening container from his skin. He walked with it at arm's length and dumped the contents into the trash can.

"Help lazybones!" I said, still laughing at his expression. He then put the container in the dishwasher and we began to load the dishes together. The mountainous piles quickly became smaller as we laughed through it, it was easy, and fun to load the dishwasher with Alex, even though we were still doing the same gross work, we were doing it together, and it felt good; right.

When we were done loading we washed our hands. There was only one sink so we kept bumping hips and elbows, but neither of us minded. Somewhere it became a game, see who could bump the person out of the sink. I was winning, so competitive as he is, Alex brought splashing to the table. He cupped his hands under the sink and then dumped the water on my head. I gave him an oh-no-you-didn't look and got out the spray nozzle, I pulled the trigger right in his face. He got soaked. I laughed and stopped spraying, I grabbed a towel, his next attack missed me by a mile because he was still blinded from my attack. I hit him with the towel anyway, my head was sufficiently dry. He finally wiped the water from his eyes, and I fell into them. The red-brown pools pulled me in with the shine of laughter, pure joy, and… love? As we connected his eyes darkened slightly, and I knew mine had too, the love was still prominent, but we both needed more than friendship, neither of us had stopped loving each other, and I would bet my life that we never will. The day at school hiding had only brought us closer, and right now all I wanted was to kiss him. It looked like my wish was to be granted. He pushed my long hair back with his hand. He moved closer, stopping just an inch away from me.

"I love you Lisa" He said, the first time since we had met again. I smiled.

"I love you too Alex" I murmured against his warm breath before crashing my lips to his. The earth was spinning, but Alex and I stayed safe and still in each other's arms. The kiss was beautiful, but gentle. If others were watching it would have looked like just any kiss, simple, short, easy. But for us it was pushing ourselves to the limit, a limit we could not go over. Being in love was one thing, hiding it was another; if we crossed this limit hiding would be impossible. Just a few notches higher on the kissing scale, and that one period without him would be pure unadulterated torture, for the sake of hiding we kissed with as much love and passion as we could while staying inside our limit.

The door crashed open and we pulled apart, smiling. I glanced at the clock, confirming that Martin had just come home. I grabbed a backpack, watching Alex do the same.

"-And so that is how the banana gets to the U.S.A." Alex said randomly, life saver. I laughed.

"Martin! We are going upstairs to work on homework in our room, holler if you need us!" I called to him and practically shoved Alex up the stairs. I held back my laughter until the door was closed, then I burst out laughing. "How the banana gets to the U.S.? Really?" I questioned in between giggles.

"Hey! It worked didn't it?" He held up his hands in innocence.

"Yeah, it did, but you better think of some more of those." I said. He looked puzzled and then realization dawned, then he went to a puzzled mask.

"Well why would I do that?" He asked.

"You can't say the same thing every time we get caught kissing, someone will notice." I whispered.

"Well how often will we get caught?" He asked, testing me. We were both smiling.

"I don't know how often we will get caught, but I quite enjoy kissing you, so I believe that shall be a common occurrence." He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Well maybe I don't enjoy kissing you, did you think about that?" He asked, smug.

"Actually I did, and then I thought, you have kissed me more than once, it must be okay. And, anyway, who cares what you think?" I know I do.

"I think you do" He said, reading my mind. "And you are right, kissing you is rather enjoyable." He smiled, kissing me again, I kissed him back. The kiss was almost the same as the last one, and during it I lost all sense of time. Though the kiss was most likely only a few seconds it seemed like forever, yet at the same time, it wasn't nearly long enough, forever would never be enough, I could kiss Alex until the world falls apart and we go to heaven, where I would say hello to God, and everyone, and then go on kissing Alex for all of eternity, because this was as close to heaven as one could get without dying. We pulled away as Martin ascended the stairs. And by the time he had opened the door we were sprawled across my queen sized bed, starting on history. His suspicions unproven he got out his math homework and we all began working on it. We laughed often and we soon got our work done Martin went to my computer when he had his own across the hall, I guess he was still suspicious.

The next two weeks were much the same. Alex got the job with me, and we still had all but that one class together, we went to school, he slept on the couch, and Sarah and my siblings went home. Every time we were sufficiently alone we kissed, of hugged, of held hands, or just murmured 'I love you's, it wasn't easy, we wanted to be together more publicly, but people couldn't know what had happened between us. Lily knew something was up, but for the most part she kept quiet and happy, she never told me what was wrong, and I shrugged, when she wanted to talk about it she would, I knew that, and she knew that, that was how it always was. Except in elementary school at recess we would just sit next to each other all recess, for a few days in a row even, when something was up. We would just walk out past the playground and the other kids, and we would sit in silence, waiting for the other to speak. Eventually, the clouds, the wind, the smell of the freshly cut grass we were sitting on, or maybe just the comfort of a person who cares sitting next to you, seemingly wasting their time for something that may not even have anything to do with them, pushed us to speak, sometimes it was as simple as I like that boy, or they are being really rude to me. Others it was 'I can't believe you did that' and 'I am so sorry', one time it was moving, Lily thought she had to move, and was really scared, she thought I would get mad, but no, I was just sad, luckily, she was okay, and stayed, but that sitting lasted three recess days. Now though it wasn't as simple as that, we simply didn't have time to be together 100% of the time, and I missed her, but she should know she can come to me with anything.

But on Tuesday 2 weeks later, something was wrong. I woke up and practically flew to the bathroom adjoining our bedroom. I opened the toilets and hurled. When my stomach felt freshly empty, I was confused. I wasn't feverish, or anything, I wasn't sick, but I just barfed up last night's lasagna. I shrugged it off and reached under the cabinet for the mouthwash. I didn't feel it. I sat down on the cool tile and looked at the towels and mirror cleaner, and toilet paper. I also saw a box of tampons. Next to them sat my calendar, I glanced at it. Then put it back seeing the mouthwash. I jumped and grabbed my calendar again, holy crap, I am a week late. I rinsed my mouth and tried to calm my nerves. You just threw up Lisa, you are fine, stay home for today. I composed myself as best I could and took a deep breath, I slipped back into the bedroom and under the covers.

O my freaking gosh, I am 18, a Christian girl, who mysteriously went missing for 30 hrs. in my senior year of high school and wanting desperately to become a Washington state freshman next year, but here I am, sleeping in the same room as the love of my life who raped for me; who went mentally insane without me, and I have his unborn child growing inside of me. It's exactly what I always wanted, in exactly the scenario it wasn't allowed to happen in.

A/N: Sorry, I feel as though adding more detail than I originally planned may not have worked too well, since I have absolutely no idea what it feels like to kiss somebody, and am perfectly content with that for now. But look on the bright side! Despite my kissing clichés, you got a longer chapter than planned. Yay! Review please!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I know, I know, I just suck. But I can guarantee you that if you people would actually tell me that you are reading that I would update. I am also aware of how crappy the first chapters, please keep in mind that I kind of jumped into this, I was just too excited and I have also improved my writing, and I just can't stand reading them, but I am forcing myself to move on because I need to tell you people all that I have written so far. Anyway I have a quick question for anyone out there.**

**Kay so (cheese) I came up with another path that this story could take. I am going to write what I originally planned unless you people out there (if you exist) ask for it. Basically in the other ending Alex isn't actually the father, he was too compassionate to do it and blah, blah, I thought it was sweet. I won't post it unless you ask for it though because frankly it would take a bit of research, I will look into it though if you wish. If you have any questions at all feel free to PM me, it would be much appreciated. Now maybe you can read some… **

**Disclaimer: Or not! Now you get to read about how I own nothing except for well Alex and Lisa and Martin (kinda belongs to my brother but I made him a part and figured out his point in life, for this story, I'm still working on the actual thing), and most of the wolves, although a lot of them are inspired/requested by my friends and then Stephanie Meyer chose the insane amount (I mean HONESTLY how on earth am I supposed to create a good story with 17 freakin werewolves, imprints, my main characters, and family and crap, I mean really, wasn't 17 just a BIT much?), and of course she owns the concept of the werewolves, imprints, and then all the ones that SHE created and such, wow, longest disclaimer ever, you might never read about Lisa and her troubles anyway, you could give up. I am just rambly today anyway, I should get out more…**

**Onward at last!**

Chapter 10 What Have I done?

LPOV:

I took a deep breath. Again, what else to do anyway? Alex stirred on the couch. I mentally groaned, worst and best timing in the world love. Alex forgot the whole mental thing and groaned aloud.

"Lisa? Are you okay? I heard you come back…" He was struggling to stay awake, if I wasn't freaked out beyond my mind I would have laughed.

"I'm alright, but I'm staying home today, I just threw up, and I'm really tired." Alex jerked himself awake at this.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked kissing my forehead, his lips were warmer than usual and it felt amazing on my clammy skin. I nodded against him, already feeling the tendrils of sleep grabbing at me, I gave into them and drifted away. I heard Alex's muffled goodbye as he left the room and then I sunk a bit deeper into sleep.

When I awoke I listened carefully, no one was home, I shifted my gaze to the clock and quickly understood why, it was nearly 1 p.m. I dragged myself out of bed and threw on some clothes, a t-shirt with my converse and favorite jeans, for good luck (as if it would help, what did I want anyway? Yes or no? It's true that I always longed for a child of my own, and that I had always wanted to have children with Alex, just after we were married, not in my senior year of high school, not here, not now, it just didn't fit). I walked at a fast pace to the gas station on the corner. I wanted to seem confident, no matter how crappy I felt. Luckily I had years of experience hiding how I felt, and no one seemed to think anything was wrong, except for the fact that I wasn't in school. Outside a mid-fifties woman was smoking a cigarette, I held my breath as I walked by. The bell dinged loudly, startling me, as I walked in, I released my breath just as the bell dinged again, the woman had come in, apparently she was the only person working, imagine that. She stood behind the counter and I felt her eyes on me. I tried to ignore them as I made my way to the worst part of the trip, the purpose.

On I grabbed a test that seemed fairly reasonable, trying not to look anymore stupid than I did by staring at them. On my way to the counter I grabbed a bag of Fun-juns, they just looked good. In honor of Juno I grabbed a thing of Sunny D and made my way to the counter. The clerk looked at me skeptically as she rang up the items.

"You know we sell condoms? I can get you some." The clerk, Mable, rasped. I tried my hardest to keep from punching her, did I LOOK like a slut?

"Oh, really? Well I saw some nicotine gum over there, why don't you try some of that?" Mable sneered at me, shoved my bag into my hands and pointed angrily at the door.

"Stay out of my store you whore!" I laughed her off, oh let her try to lay a finger on me, but I exited quickly anyway, the smell of her smoke saturated clothes was giving me a headache, smoke and I just don't mix well.

With each step I took towards home I grew faster, the anxiety was really getting to me, by the time I was in my kitchen I was out of breath from running. As soon as I was in my house I started chugging, reminding myself of Martin and his friends, once they had a chugging contest. Each of them had a huge thing of Hawaiian punch, and were seeing who could drink it all the fastest, I had won, because the rules were that if you puked, you lost. I just had one glass at a time, within ten minutes everyone else was puking their brains out. I was done the next morning, and declared the winner.

When half the container was gone and I felt quite sloshy I went to the bathroom and waited. Before long the urge made itself apparent and I did my business. I sat on the toilet seat with my Fun-juns and waited. It took five minutes; six minutes too long in my opinion. I listened to the faucet leak even though I could fix it if I just turned the sink off, mainly because it was my only record of time.

Finally I looked over, I mentally gave myself a pep-talk saying that anyway would be fine. I didn't want this to happen, because of the fact that it means I lied, I wanted to actually be someone, not a young mom who grows up alone with her child cause her parents kicked her out. But as much as I didn't want it to happen, I did. I wasn't sure if I could take the pain that would be associated with the rejection, of the knowledge that my body didn't love me enough to give me what I wanted. I wanted it both ways, but it could only be one.

I looked over. +. +! I couldn't stop the smile, before I let my hopes get too high in the sky I checked the box. + meant positive. I did a little happy dance before I stopped nearly in mid-air. If my brain had been a milli-second faster I would have fallen flat on my face.

The test was +. What did this mean? I don't even know what happened that night, WWIII could have torn across the planet and been gone and I would still be in my happy place, confused as to the location of everyone else when I finally awoke. A body's self-defense systems are rock-solid. Especially mine. I had no idea how Alex would react, it isn't like this is something we talked about, every moment we had to ourselves was spent sleeping or just touching in content silence. Our lives weren't easy, hiding the fact that your true love is next to you, and that you both know it, is possibly the hardest thing in the world. Even more so when you have been fantasizing about re-meeting this person for eight years and are now unable to enjoy their return.

Marriage and kids were so far into the future it wasn't even a question really. I was still adamant about no sex before marriage, and he was still trying to forgive himself for all the crap he did to me, and everyone else. Neither of us were ready to even think about approaching 'that step' and we didn't enjoy revisiting that night either. We weren't proud of it, and were still building up to fully facing it.

But that was just Alex. Martin looked up to me, he'd never admit it, but it's pretty obvious. Martin had looked up to Annabelle as well, but the falling out hadn't just been between us two, it was the whole family, I think that through it I actually did the best, I had still e-mailed her about my day, and prayed for her. It wasn't just that she left God, but in that she left everything we thought she believed in. Her friends, her family, her life, all of it. We didn't yet look up to her again, but we trusted her more with Billy at her side, I wasn't sure what my failure would do to him, I wanted him to be happy.

Mom and dad would kill me, I don't think they'd kick me out of the house, but they'd kick Alex out, I couldn't handle that. Death would be better. I was always the perfect little girl, and even though I wasn't perfect I had been proud to call myself pure. Now how could I convince them that this was true, with a long lost love at my side and his child inside of me.

What about school? I am a straight A student in AP classes, and I wanted to go to college next year. No college would accept a girl already with a baby, and my grades would fail me as well. My grades would drop, and my future I had worked so hard to build would crumble into a pile of dust. All because of a baby.

And Chessie? Oh, Lily would murder me. With her love of all things popular she would immediately despise me. No, I believe that she would genuinely care… a little bit. She would say, 'Oh, I'm sorry but I need to talk to Mrs. Jayson instead of eating, why don't you go eat with your baby daddy?' She would attack me and I would be rendered helpless against her power. I would automatically be hated by all teachers and administrators, I was no longer a teacher's pet. No, I was a miscreant.

I curled in on myself, tears streaming down my cheeks and creating a puddle on the tile of my bathroom, I still clutched the test in my hand, willing it to change.

APOV:

I am worried sick about Lisa. It is taking everything in me to not stand up and begin pacing in the middle of Biology. I am driving home now with Martin in shotgun. In the seat behind me is a strawberry cheesecake, her favorite. I really hope she is okay, she sounded really bad this morning. My hands began to shake again. I took a deep breath to calm myself and Martin politely acted like he didn't notice. The shaking has been getting worse. Today in second period I almost lost it when I found out that my partner was absent today. I mean I was full on shaking. It was rather frightening and it got some weird stares, especially from Brady, he looked like he was going to bolt out he door for help or something. I pushed all those thoughts from my mind though as I pulled into the driveway. Martin reached over for the keys not bothering to get out.

"I have a study group that I need to go to, check on Lisa for me okay? I'll see you later." I grabbed the cheesecake and walked in the kitchen to put it in the fridge. Once my present was safely trapped inside its frigid prison I looked around. The note on the counter left by her mother sat untouched; the can of soup unopened. I checked the fridge to see if she had gone for leftovers instead. It was all there, and so was half a gallon of Sunny D. I headed upstairs to her room, wary.

No one was there either; I heard a whimper from the bathroom and poked my head in. I nearly burst into tears myself. There, curled into the fetal position was Lisa, my love. A small puddle of tears had formed and was wetting her hair. To anyone else she would have look as though she had cried herself to sleep, but I knew better, she could hear nothing, feel nothing, and her eyes, if opened, would be blank. There was some trash on the floor, but it wasn't important to me, I just wanted to know if she was okay. What had happened? I picked her up bridal style and held her close to me as I sank down onto the bed. I set her down on the pillows and covered her shaking body with the sheets. I kissed away her tears and said "I love you Lisa. It's Alex and you are safe," so many times I lost count. After each repetition I kissed her softly.

I glanced at the clock. It had been at least an hour since I found her, she had barely stirred. I was going insane. I felt like I lost her I had no idea what was going on, what had happened that was so bad that she had gone to her safe place? I kissed her harder, longer this time, a few more tears falling on her face as I did so, but these were my tears, not hers. Her lips twitched under mine. I pulled back, cradling her face in my hands.

"Lisa? Lisa it's Alex. I love you, you are safe; I am not leaving you."

She took a deep breath. She was okay! Her eyes opened, and beautiful blues looked back at me.

"Alex? What happened, are you alright?" Her voice was thick with lack of use over the past who knows how many hours? I pulled her to me again, I needed to kiss her and have her respond, everything was just screwed up. She kissed me back, and I smiled against her lips.

"Lisa, I am okay now that you are back, but you are the one with explaining to do. When I came home you were mentally gone, and you were curled up in the bathroom crying. Darlin' I was frantic, what happened?" Her still heavy lidded stare, suddenly widened. She closed her eyes and tried to curl up again.

"Lisa! No! I am here, I love you! And nothing you can say to me will make me leave!" She was looking at me again, I softened my tone, knowing she was still with me. "Baby, what has happened?" She winced at my statement, I found nothing wrong with it though, and was trying to figure out what I had said when she pulled her left hand out from under the sheets.

"Baby is wrong Alex." What? I still didn't understand. She opened her hand. Inside was a white plastic stick with a plus sign in some kind of panel.

"Lisa, is that a-a-" I tripped over the word, she finished for me.

"It is a pregnancy test, and it is positive." Her voice lowered. "I am so sorry Alex. I can have it adopted, or-or something, I don't know, but please stay with me-"

I put a finger to her mouth quickly. "Lisa, don't do this to yourself, I know how long you have wanted a baby, since before you met me" she opened her mouth, I spoke quickly. "And you are not getting rid of this baby anymore than you are getting rid of me. I love you, and although I understand this is the worst timing possible, this is NOT your fault in ANY way, you did NOTHING of this, it was all me."

She relaxed and lowered her head into me, I was shaking with self-hatred, how could I have done this to her? "Wh-what will I tell mom and dad? Martin? Lily?"

"Shh… they will just have to deal with it." I lifted her from my chest. "I have a present for you," Her face brightened, I smiled. "Let me go get it, it's downstairs, I'll go get it."

I ran downstairs and grabbed the cheesecake and a fork, and rushed back as soon as I could, hating to be away from her, and not wanting to think, sadly, the 5 seconds away from her only made me hate myself more, I dropped the fork twice I was shaking so hard. I gave her the cheesecake and she smiled in thanks. Before I could sit down the doorbell rang. 'Perfect timing'

"I'll be right back, Love." I whispered, my voice staying calm for her only. By the time I was shaking so hard my vision was blurry. My muscles ached, I felt like exploding, but I kept in one piece, until I opened the door, it took me a few seconds before I realized that that Brady kid and another man were standing there. By the time I measured the look of alarm on their faces I was already being dragged outside. They took me behind the house and I tried to shout at them, telling them to let me go back inside.

My bones were screaming now, my brain was on fire, hell, ALL of me was on fire. I screamed in aggravation and pain, and then I wasn't screaming, I was howling. HOWLING? How am I fucking howling? A man began talking in my head, and I felt like I should listen to him, but all I saw was Lisa, alone, pregnancy test next to her, thinking I hated her. WHAT HAVE I DONE?

LPOV:

I heard Alex open the door. Silence. Then I peeked out the window, the doorway was empty. Maybe he invited them in? I strained my ears, trying to hear muttering from downstairs. Then I gasped as a scream broke through the silence, nearly deafening me. But this scream didn't just hurt my heart, my soul ached to fix the person making this sound; it's Alex.

Then the scream broke into a howl, dogs barked, close to the house. Big dogs. Where was my Alex? What happened? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

**A/N: Awww, misunderstandings are just so saddening, sorry for any mistakes, but I am just going to post this because it has been so long. This chapter was long, even without the page long intro :D In the middle of writing it Pandora radio played 'You Never Let Go' by Passion. It really fit right when Lisa was questioning about keeping the kid or not, I liked it, look it up, it is actually about God, and I love it, but the chorus fits the chapter. Anyway thanks for reading, please review!**

**~Wish my name was Elizabeth (Or Molly Jean)~**

**P.S. Totally don't have to read, but the Molly Jean thing is actually a name from a story that I am writing. But don't get your hopes up just yet! I really am in love with it, it is a Jasper x OC, but I haven't typed three words of it, my betas are still reading it (a.k.a. my friends), and I don't want to post anything about it until I have typed out like 5 or six more chapters of Dead Horse, I don't want to be as inconsistent with posting it. Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Look! I am posting! I posted some of Spontaneous Combustion and have gotten lots of alerts. I also have nothing to read, it is so hard not to read M, but no, I shall not. So since I am happy about all the response from my other story and am extremely bored, you get another chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Not any of it. And as much as I love Jasper we have not yet met in person, so he isn't mine either… yet :D**

APOV:

I only half-listened as they explained what had happened. I was a werewolf, wow, didn't figure that one out. The big black one, Sam, was the alpha, and Brady was another wolf in the pack. The pack now has 18 people in it. Apparently 5 years ago there was a huge battle with the vampires and the wolf population exploded. Cause I cared. I heard everything now, the cars 2 miles away, a couple whispering things on the beach, and, of course, the incessant noise in my head. But over it all I heard a single tear fall, it splashed against a piece of plastic. A single tear was all it took but I lost it, I knew it had come from Lisa. Lisa, who was alone, at the hardest time in her life, alone, all because of me.

'_How long is this going to take?'_ I shouted interrupting Sam's rant about how horrible vampires are. Sam released a small growl.

'_As long as it takes! Or do you have better things to do?'_ Sam was irritated, but I was more so.

'_As a matter of fact I do! I don't have time to listen to this shit! I just need to go back so that I can be with Lisa!' _I was on the verge of breaking down, simply not being around her all day had made me agitated and nervous, but now knowing the extent of pain she was feeling and me leaving her made me despise myself in every possible way. Sam barely listened to me, but he made one thing clear before I could get anything out.

'_Alex, you can't go near her, you might hurt her, think of how unstable you are…'_ I started to argue about how I could never hurt Lisa, never again, but he continued. '_And what if this_ Lisa _isn't your imprint?'_ Now I was intrigued. I felt thread of heartbreak surrounding this thought, as if it had happened to him before, as much as I wanted to ask about it he was still talking and I wanted to know what imprinting was.

'_Imprinting is something we wolves do. It is basically when we find our soul mates.'_

'_Yeah man! It's freakin awesome!'_ Brady broke in; his thoughts turning to an intense make out scene with a black haired girl. I cringed and focused on Sam again.

'_But is Lisa isn't your imprint then you will have to break up with her. You don't want to break up with her_ after _you find you imprint, trust me…'_ I felt the pain from him again, but this time chose to ignore it. Now I was scared.

Should I go see her? But what if she isn't my soul mate? What if she finds out that she's pregnant and then I don't imprint and break up with her? She is freaked out enough as it is and now we have this to deal with.

'_Alex if she isn't your imprint you can't tell her what is going on. To the general Quileute population the legends of wolves are just that, legends. No one who doesn't have to know may know.' _Sam interrupted my panic.

Fuck. Since re-meeting Lisa my cussing had gone down considerably, but still. Fuck. What can I do? I am banned from seeing her, and scared out of my mind to see her, but she and I are both in pain. I could feel another thread in the cloth of my sanity that she had stitched back come undone every second and I knew that she wasn't fairing any better. We needed each other. She can't face her family alone, and even if she could, I can't _**expect**_ her to. I did this to her. Granted, neither of our minds were present at the time, but _**I**_ did this. Every second of her suffering has been my fault. Every fall, every tear, every silent second for eight years. Eight years, all of it was me. And then I come back to torture her more, I am **such** an asshole.

'_Dude, stop, seriously, from what I hear this isn't all your fault, and besides who on earth would have thought that she finds out that your insanity provoked fucking had gotten her pregnant the same day you turn into a werewolf? You didn't ask for it. Stop beating yourself up about it. If she went for eight years without you she is strong enough to go for one night.'_

'_Brady is right Alex, you can stay at my place tonight and then I will let you see her tomorrow, but you cannot see her until tomorrow, and that is an order.'_

I felt the weight of the alpha command rest upon my shoulders, there was nothing I could do. I nodded weakly and let them lead me to Sam's house. At the edge of the forest Sam and Brady coached me back into human form. Once there I realized I was naked and hid in a bush, Sam and Brady phased and pulled on their cutoffs, laughing at me.

"Dude, you are going to need to become less self-conscious, you'll never survive if Paul realizes you are ashamed of your body." Brady laughed again. Sam had gone inside and now came out with some shorts in his hand. I pulled them on but stayed hidden.

They realized I hadn't yet moved and looked back at me. "Ummm, can I get a shirt?" I blushed in embarrassment, but I really didn't like the thought of going out there without proper clothes on. They didn't bother laughing, they just stared, jaws hanging open in shock. I became even more self-conscious and sank further into the bush.

"Are you serious?" Sam asked, shaking his head to clear the shock.

"Really man, you have a werewolf body now, you are tan and muscular, dude, girls actually drool on us sometimes, and then their saliva literally sizzles when it touches us. That is how hot we are, and you need a _shirt_?" I tried to sink further down, but realized I could go no further. I ducked my head, but refused to get up. In a few seconds I felt something land on my head. A shirt, I pulled it on and looked gratefully towards the origin of the throw. A man with a child-like smile grinned at me.

"Gosh guys, what is wrong with wanting a shirt for crying out loud?" He glanced at Sam and Brady before softening his gaze a bit at me. "Hi, I am Seth, Seth Clearwater."

"Alex, Alexander James Campbell, it's nice to meet you, and well, thanks." I said.

The door opened and a wonderful aroma poured out from inside. "Boys! Get your butts in here now! Your food is ready!" A beautiful woman yelled out the back door, her stomach was swollen with a child and her smile was radiant. That is until she turned to go back inside, three long scars ran the length of her face, pulling one side of her mouth into a permanent grimace. I understood immediately what had happened. Sam swept her up in a kiss, pulling back and kissing each of her scars and then covering her belly with kisses. She laughed.

"That's Emily, Sam's wife. And those scars are what happen when you are a young werewolf near humans." Brady muttered the words to me as he walked past me and into the house. I followed him and Seth was behind me, we left the lovebirds on the porch, grimacing at their goo goo eyes. I was glad though that Lisa would have someone to talk to, she needed it. I could tell that these people were quickly becoming a family to me, and I was eager for Lisa to meet them, even though I hadn't met most of them.

'_Yeah but if you don't imprint on her then you can't show her these people anyway'_ whispered an annoying voice in the back of my head. I watched as the others stuffed their faces, but I was no longer hungry, without Lisa my appetite had been lost. Seth pointed to a room where I would be staying, and I crawled in the bed and crashed, wishing I was sleeping on a couch. I got about .5 second of sleep before I realized there was no hope of me going to sleep that night, so instead I lay awake thinking of the only thing that mattered; Lisa

LPOV:

He hadn't come back yet. It was nearly midnight and he was still gone, I was beginning to wonder if he would ever come back. By ever I mean BEFORE the baby is 17 years old. I thought he loved me, I thought he wanted to do this with me. It isn't as if I chose this. None of the other victims had gotten pregnant, nope, just me. Me, the one he actually wanted all along. Oh how I hate irony.

Birth control. Duh. I wasn't on birth control, they probably were. I didn't have sex, so why be on birth control? What would be the point? Besides if I asked about it my mother would tell my father, who would get his shotgun and go shoot every person with a certain body part within a 100-mile radius of me. Ha, you think I am kidding. Nope, I remember the time Annabelle asked. Technically speaking Annabelle isn't my father's child, no she and Chris are my half-siblings. Anyway, Annabelle asked and mom totally freaked out. She told dad who gave her a half hour lecture and grounded her for a month. She, of course, was furious, but eventually they got over it. Now you have to understand that I am my father's little girl, perfect in every way, and who can do no harm. Yeah, it would not be pretty.

I had heard Martin come home, and then mom and dad. I had stashed the cheesecake remains underneath my bed. Yeah it was gone. I am a stress eater, and I am pregnant, give a girl a break! The pregnancy test was under my pillow and every few minutes I had to lift up my pillow to assure myself that it was still there, and still positive. I pretended to be asleep when they came in to check on me so I wouldn't have to answer their questions. Whether they were about me or Alex I wanted nothing to do with them.

When it was silent I cried. Alex wasn't coming back. He was too free and alive to be tied down by a child, it just didn't work. I thought that we might make it this time, but no, no I am not sure if we were ever meant to be, we may just be two kids, condemned to a life of pain for God knows what reason. Technically this was all Alex's fault, I had no part in it, but even though I knew this to be true I couldn't bring myself to be angry at my love. It wasn't like he had been in control. There was no conscious thought from him that night, only insanity, an insanity caused by none other than me. So yes, I cried, for what else was there to do. Sleep did not come. My heart ached, a deep longing, a painful tugging, telling me something was wrong. But only Alex could heal it. A hole began to form and I lay on my chest in attempt to keep my heart from bursting in two, but it was no use. My heart broke anyway.

If only he was here…

APOV:

I listened as everyone went home and Sam and Emily headed upstairs. I listened to the general silence of the night. The clock tolled 12 times and I suddenly felt lighter, like I could do whatever I wanted. I was confused though. Of course! It is tomorrow, Sam said that I could see her tomorrow! I jumped up and ran out the door silently, not wanting to wake them up and ruin this chance. I got to her house and jumped up to her window. With a smile on my face I looked in.

My smile disappeared as me eyes fell on her. I watched as she tossed and turned, restless as I had been. Her eyes were closed but from the speed of her breath I knew she was still awake. She thumped angrily onto her back, but I knew that the heat wasn't from her anger, it was from pain. Her eyes were red and swollen from tears. Her cheeks glistened wetly in the moonlight. My heart tore itself again.

I wanted so horribly to go in there and hug her, to kiss all her tears away, to tell her I loved her and that I never meant for any of this to happen. But I couldn't, instead I watched her cry for me. Tears for a man who deserved nothing except to be brutally tortured for causing such pain to such an innocent beauty.

Suddenly I was furious. I couldn't handle my self hatred, and I couldn't deny the truth. I was shaking and I jumped down from the window while I still had some semblance of control. I took deep breaths but the image of her tears ruined any effect of them helping me. Then I thought of Lisa's laugh, her smile, her lips on mine; the shaking stopped and I sighed. Relieved I had overcome my first battle with myself I closed my eyes. I suddenly realized how truly dangerous I was. Without anyone provoking me but myself I had nearly phased again.

I ran back to Sam's and crawled into bed, horrified at myself. I lay awake until the dim light that they call sun in this sunless town fell over me. I sniffed the air and realized that Emily had already begun breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and was amazed at the mountain of food. Emily had made enough food to feed about seven armies. I watched as she pulled some massive muffins out of the oven and dumped them onto a plate that she set on the table as well. I noticed that she had already made a plate of food and was about to ask where I could find a plate when the door burst open.

In walked the most gigantic men on the planet, I am sure of it. True none of them were quite as large as Sam, but I counted them, 12. Twelve men clamored into the room and started to shove food into their mouths. Sam walked into the room and dived into the middle of it all. He glanced at me seeming to say, "Well? You coming?" I had no time to question the morals of these men as I realized how hungry I was. I too began to shovel food into my mouth, trying helplessly to satisfy the hunger pains. Even though I was hungry enough to eat dirt, this was most definitely not dirt; it was, quite honestly, the BEST food I had ever consumed. Soon all the food was gone and I realized why Emily had gotten a plate first; if there had been more food I would have happily consumed it.

Seeing that Emily was still munching on her miniscule plate of food I began gathering the dishes. I took them to the sink, rinsed them, and loaded them into the dishwasher. I smiled, remembering doing this with Lisa, I remembered her putting the disgusting container on my arms, effectively breaking Lisa-induced trance. Tired after a long day at school her brown hair falling out of place, the smile on her face, despite her obvious annoyance at the chore we were doing, well she was doing. Then I remembered the kiss, the declaration of our love, the feel of her face in my hand… I was so caught up in memories that I didn't realize everyone was staring at me until I was done. They looked at me like I was an alien. I realized how dark my eyes probably were and ducked my head, letting my shaggy chestnut hair fall into my eyes, preventing them from seeing the lust there.

But as I had had my back turned towards them most of the time they hadn't yet noticed. For this I was relieved, but they were still staring at me. "What?" I asked, had I done something wrong? "Oh my gosh, you guys don't seriously make the pregnant woman cook, stuff your faces, and then leave her to clean it all up too!" They stared at me.

"Well she wasn't _always_ pregnant…" Brady muttered. Emily came up to me and hugged me tightly.

"You sir, are welcome here anytime. It makes me so happy to know that _some_ men have manners." She whispered happily. I ducked my head again.

"You should actually thank Lisa for that; a few weeks ago I never would have done that. Speaking of Lisa," I turned my gaze to rest on Sam, "please? Can I go see her? I promise I'll be careful." One of the bigger guys in the group snickered and whispered "whipped", Paul I assumed. But I didn't care, if I had to get down on my knees and cry I would, I kind of felt like it anyway, without Lisa I really was worthless.

"Shut up Paul, cause you are so much better with Rachel, another comment like that you'll patrol 4 consecutive shifts." A group of 'ooohs' went around the table. Paul muttered his apology and Sam glared at the ooohers. "Now Alex, I know you snuck out last night at midnight and I want you to know that better not happen again." He paused, his eyes boring into mine. "But yes you may see her," I felt myself beam, I could have squealed I was so happy. I headed for the door. "Wait!" I stopped and faced him again. "If you imprint on her" I heard the doubt in his voice, I felt as though he had stabbed my heart, "you may bring her to the bonfire tonight at 9:00, you can smell your way there. But if you don't imprint on her, she may know nothing, I repeat _nothing_ of what we are. You may leave." I felt the alpha command throughout his speech and left feeling a bit disheartened. However, when I smelled Lisa through her open window my overjoyed smile returned.

I leaped up to her window and knocked, knowing that if I walked in through the front door I would be questioned as to my location all of last night. She jumped and put down what looked to be an English textbook, when in reality it was an English textbook containing a pregnancy book that she had been reading. I saw that she was still crying and that her eyes were still red and puffy, in addition she now had dark circles under her eyes. As she saw me and told me to come in I avoided her eyes, frightened by what would inevitably happen when our eyes met. I would either feel a great pull towards her and a need to be by her side or I would feel nothing, nothing but what I felt now. A single glance determined the rest of our lives, and she had no idea, I was so scared.

I could feel her questioning stare as I looked at my feet. I could hear her heartbeat, which had increased speed, she was happy I had come back; she had thought I left, I fought to keep myself from shaking at that thought. I sank down onto the bed, my head in my hands, she put her hand on my shoulder but when I didn't respond she sat across from me on the couch. I heard the tears in her voice as she whispered to me.

"I can put the baby up for adoption Alex, you don't even have to ever see it, it will be quick and the baby will be gone I just can't lose you-" My eyes snapped open.

"No! Keep the baby Lisa; I know that it's what you always want-" I had looked into her eyes. It was all over.

But it wasn't, it had just begun, I felt an even stronger pull to her than I had before. The feeling of her being the only thing that held me to the Earth wasn't there as Sam had explained, but I hadn't expected it to be there, because that had been true already, for years, and years. But I still knew it had happened. I felt it. Lisa was my love, my imprint, my soul mate. I glanced towards the door out of the corner of my eye, checking to make sure it was closed. Then I gave my full attention to Lisa. A questioning look was in her eyes, but I did not finish my statement, the point of my speech had already gotten out and I felt no need to talk about things already decided. Now that I knew who she was to me; my everything, I just needed to be closer. I felt so far away, and the distance hurt.

I sat next to her on the couch and stared at her in all her beauty. Even with her puffy eyes and her dark circles beneath them she was the most beautiful creature I had seen. Her bright blue eyes contrasted with her dark skin, a result of having a Quileute father and an all American mother. I thought about my love for her, and how much I needed to kiss her, I felt my eyes darken. I watched as hers did the same. I was still moving slowly, not quite sure if she had forgiven me. She obviously had as she closed the distance between us. My lips touching hers was like fire, a jolt of electricity that instead of causing pain, healed every hurt I had ever had.

Her hands were twisting themselves in my hair, pulling on it in just the right way. I placed my left hand on the small of her back, pulling her into my lap. I needed her close. My right hand went to the base of her neck, trapping her head against mine. She wrapped her legs around me, locking her ankles behind me. I felt the heat of her press in to me and, without consciously telling myself to, I ground my hips against hers, I bit back a moan, but she didn't, a breathy moan escaped her lips and I pulled back. We gasped for a few minutes, both of us out of breath.

"Sorry, I went a bit father then I originally imagined." I whispered the words, aware of how husky my voice was. She lifted her head from my shoulder and kissed me gently.

"Don't be." She breathed, her voice had the same quality as my own, and I would be lying if I said it didn't turn me on. I moved us to her bed and she unlocked her ankles from behind me and stretched out on my chest, tracing my new-found muscles through the thin shirt I had been given.

"How many boys have you kissed?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely possessive of My Lisa.

"None." She whispered.

"None?" I found this hard to believe, this beautiful girl had kissed no one else?

"Well one, 8 years, 2 months, and 23 days ago. I loved him, I always had, and I still do. We had snuck under the slide where the teacher couldn't see us. It was recess, our time of day, when he would take me on huge adventures, sometimes we searched for dinosaur bones, or arrow heads, and others we were convinced that there was a secret passage into the school somewhere in that field and we spent hours trying to find it. But today was a special day. We didn't do any of that. No, today we went on an adventure that none of us could have imagined. We kissed, right there, just once, no more. I have only ever kissed one man, and that is because I have only loved one man, and that man's name, is Alexander James Campbell." Oh, how I love this woman.

"Never?" I asked, still disbelieving, she was so beautiful it made no sense, her purity overjoyed me at the same time it saddened me. I had taken hers away and had none of my own to offer.

"Why should I? The man I loved would come back someday, true love is unbreakable. Why ruin myself when I know who I am going to be with forever? Why kiss one person while loving another? Alex, I know you feel guilty because I can see it, but you must understand that I don't blame you, not for any of it. You weren't you when you did what you did. If it is anyone's fault it is your mother's for taking you away from me, and for beating you down every day of your life. You did what you did when you had no sanity, not to get back at me, or to do it for the un of it. YOU, yourself, did nothing. You just died for 8 years, but now you are back, and I am so glad about that. Alex. I. Love. You."

We kissed again. "I love you too honey, and am so thankful my soul mate is so forgiving." Her questioning look lasted half a second before she nodded and began to hum contentedly. Now I just get to explain the question she took back.

How do I know we are soul mates? Not just because we are perfect for each other, no not that. I just imprinted on you. Oh, what's imprinting? It's a wolf thing, yeah, I am a werewolf, found out yesterday, that's kinda why I left, but it's okay, there is a minimal chance that I'll kill you, and at least I know for sure that we're meant to be. :)

Yeah I am sure she'll just love that. Yay I am so freakin excited, not.

A/N: Yeah, I am worn out, longest chapter yet, almost eight pages in word. Ummm, review? :DD

~Wish My Name Was Elizabeth (Or Molly Jean)~


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Okay I haven't even started typing this yet and I am already tired. This chapter is 15 pages long in my notebook, that doesn't sound long, but last chapter was only 6 pages in my notebook and was 8 pages on word, because I add extra scenes and more specifics and do a rough draft in my notebook and a final draft while typing. So, yeah, this chapter will be freaking long, luckily it is also my favorite, and my friends favorites, cause they all come in. Good for you though! If anyone is out there…**

**Disclaimer: Too tired to steal the rights for this from SM, so yeah, I don't own it, stupid rich people get EVERYTHING… :D**

APOV:

I reluctantly pulled back from my love's embrace, knowing that the truth had to be said, no matter how craptastic it was. I leaned against the headboard with my legs spread apart; without me needing to ask Lisa sat between them and rested her head on my chest, I relaxed at her touch. I took her hand in mine, drawing in a deep breath.

"Lisa, I love you so much and I will tell you where I have been, although I know you'd never ask, but first I need you to understand something." I paused and she squeezed my hand in reassurance, I smiled at this beautiful card that fate has dealt me; I wouldn't trade Lisa for anything. "I want you to know that I did not leave of my own volition, and that every second I was away from you ripped apart pieces of my soul. What has happened, which you will soon find out," I spoke quickly, stopping her from her imminent interruption, "is not my fault or your fault, and it is most definitely not this beautiful child's fault." I whispered, covering her stomach with my free hand.

I felt her relax, although she was still incredibly nervous, the one thing she has wanted since before she met me even, in first grade, has been a child. I know that she had struggled with that want throughout every day I spent with her and can only imagine that it grew worse with age. She knew that she couldn't have a child, she was adamant in her belief that sex comes after marriage, and well, with me, her only love, gone there was no way that was possible. I knew that if I had told her to put the baby up for adoption she would, but in the end she would hate me and herself, and her life would be a miserable wreck from then on.

I turned her face towards mine, deciding to be blunt and get it over with. "Lisa, honey, I left because I am a werewolf." I paused, watching the emotions create a show with her face as the stage. I saw shock first, then disbelief, anger, hurt, and betrayal. I could have cried, but instead I kept her from speaking, knowing that once she got started, I would quickly find myself alone, having hurt in the deepest way, the only one I truly love.

"Darling, remember the shaking? How my hands would shake every time I got frustrated? Or, how about the fact that I have grown nearly 2 inches in this past week alone? Do you see all these muscles?" I lifted my shirt a bit so she could see, she gasped and started to speak, but I continued, not being able to stop just yet. "Lisa, you know I don't work out, you know just as well as I do that that is NOT my thing. Sweetheart, you remember the legends right?" Now I paused, waiting for her nod. "Those aren't just legends, we call them that because in this modern world if everyone knew we'd all be put in padded rooms, they are real. This has been coming for a long time, it almost happened when I first began living on the streets, but something always held me back, almost as if my body knew that once I phased no one would be there to help. Then I saw you again and have been so incredibly happy that I couldn't possibly phase. Last night though, I was still worried about you and had experienced a shaking fit during Spanish. When I got home and saw you there, so miserable and all because of me, I was shaking with self-hatred, not at you or the baby, but the fact that I was causing you pain.

"I managed to keep myself under control by helping you, with the knowledge that my presence was helping, but then the doorbell rang. Already barely containing myself even around you I was in physical pain when I opened the door. Brady was there and a man I now know as Sam. Brady had seen my episode in Spanish and had talked to Sam, the Alpha of the werewolves. They saw me shaking and pulled me outside, even further from you, I was immediately angrier. Then the pain had escalated to the point where I was screaming, when the scream turned into a howl I stopped, frightened and shocked.

"Sam told me what I was, and soon I was barking in panic about you, he calmed me down and took me to his house, saying that I had to stay there until morning. Technically it is too dangerous for me to be around humans but Sam could tell how much I needed to see you, so he let me go a bit earlier.

"While at Sam's house I met some of the pack, Brady, Seth, Paul. Seth is really nice; Paul… not so much. I also met Emily, Sam's wife. She is six months pregnant and really nice; I know that she'll like you."

"When do I get to meet her?" Lisa asked, as I had assumed, she was happy at the prospect of having someone to talk to.

"Tonight; but there's more. Emily is Sam's imprint." I smiled at the questioning look on her face and continued, bringing our entwined hands up and kissing her wrist. "Imprinting is a wolf thing, kind of like our insane heat and fast growth, which I am sure you've noticed, we also tend to eat a ton; which you'll see tonight. A wolf's imprint is his, or her," I amended, for Leah's sake, I had heard about her, a lone female in a world of males. "soul mate, their perfect match. All it takes is one look in the eyes once you're a wolf and your entire destiny is sealed in that one connection. Many wolves never find an imprint, while some find theirs immediately."

"Is that why you were avoiding my eyes earlier? You didn't want to know. Shit, I'm not meant to be with you am I? I bet you always knew, and that's why you didn't want to look at me." Lisa was extremely quick, I'll give her that, but at the same time oh so naïve. I was slightly taken aback at her word usage, but considering this was her life we were talking about, it made sense. I mentally punched myself as she began to remove herself from my embrace.

"Lisa! Stop." I lowered my voice to a soothing tone, taking her up in my arms again. She tried to pull away, afraid of the rejection she thought was near, instead I trapped her lips in a kiss, transforming all the fear and anguish I felt at seeing her like this into passion that I poured into the kiss. She moaned softly against my lips, her fears temporarily forgotten, I pulled back and looked deep into her beautiful blue eyes, the most gorgeous freak of nature I have ever seen.

"Lisa, it's true that I didn't want to find out that we weren't meant to be, it's true that I was scared, but it is also true that when I looked into those glorious blue eyes, contrasting with the dark tan skin around them, I felt more love in that second then I have ever felt, except for now. Because that love still remains and I love you more every second. Honey, it isn't that I feared what would happen to you, I feared what I would do when I was separated from you, I can't cause pain like that again…" I suddenly felt weak, the truth behind my speech was as strong as ever, but admitting failure had never been my strong suit. I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, a few, silent tears slipped out as I thought about what I had done.

Soon I felt a soft kiss on the back of my neck, followed by two seemingly innocent hands as they began to massage my shoulders. But fairly quickly they began pulling my shoulders down to the mattress. Now I was face up and hovering above me was the most beautiful girl in the world. Her knees sat as close as possible to my hips, squeezing them slightly on wither side. Her hands rested on my shoulders and I was shocked into silence. I had always known this side of Lisa existed, it came out whenever someone was questioning her beliefs, insulting her family and friends, or whenever she was just plain angry. But now I saw the fire burning in the back of her eyes, a silent blue fire that pulled me in, and it wasn't anger. It was love.

"So are you saying that we are meant to be?" She asked, I smiled now.

"Yes."

"Good." She whispered before taking over in a kiss so passionate I feared I might drown. For a while I let her kiss me from up top, knowing she enjoyed the rush from being in charge, but I also knew how much she loved being a leader in hiding, letting someone else think they were in charge when really she had all the power in the world to stop it all. I loved this about her, especially because she often just enjoyed the ride, whether it was for a school project, a game where no one knows the exact rules, or this, she knew she could be in control, and every once in a while was, but for the most part she enjoyed being an observer, contributing just as anyone else, yet at most points she took comfort in knowing that someone else was in charge, that she didn't have to do everything, even though anyone who knew her knew she could. Lisa could do anything she wished if she set her mind to it, but most of the time she just, didn't.

Knowing all of this I flipped us over, never breaking the kiss. I felt her hands under my shirt, exploring all the new territory, it felt good to have her hands on my hot skin, like having cool water splashed on you on a hot summer day. Eventually she broke the kiss, in an effort to remove the thin piece of gray material, I paused, grabbing her hand to stop it from moving. Before when I was caught up in the kiss I had just been enjoying the feel of her hands on my chest, nut now my self-consciousness returned. It wasn't that I found myself ugly, I knew how confident all the other guys felt and I had muscles just like them. But something just didn't feel right about I don't know other people seeing me. It made me feel awkward.

"What's wrong Alex?" Lisa whispered, her voice clouded with lust, the fire in her eyes still burning, just dulled, like a wind was blowing, threatening its survival.

"Ummm…" How do I tell her? It doesn't make any sense after all the girls who have seen every part of me, girls that I showed myself to, they certainly didn't choose it. But maybe that was it after all, maybe it felt less special with all the strangers I had shown himself to, all the pain I had caused from people seeing, and feeling me, I didn't want that to happen again, I didn't want to be a monster. Lisa saw everything, she knew me better than I knew myself and in one quick sure motion she removed my shirt. She didn't look at me yet, and just like she knew why I didn't want to show her I knew why she didn't look. She knew she'd get caught up in it all, and right now her priorities rested elsewhere.

"You aren't that person anymore, you never were. I read an article about you that morning, it said that one girl said that you looked as though you were being taken over and that the one moment you looked like a person, a real person, you apologized for all of it. What you did wasn't your fault and I forgive you. I. Forgive. You. So, you need to get over yourself because I know that you are beautiful." At this moment she looked down at me. A small, strangled gasp escaped her lips. She stared, but it didn't feel awkward anymore, it felt like she was supposed to be staring at me, and I was supposed to be staring at her. So I did.

There we were sitting and staring at each other, me shirtless and in shorts, and her, with her around the house sweats on and an old t-shirt from some trip she went on with her class in middle school. Soon though she climbed onto my lap, her hand tracing the new muscles on my torso, at first I hadn't known if I had liked them, I always kind of liked being lazy. But if this was going to become a regular thing there was no way I was turning back now. I explained more things about being a werewolf to her and before I knew it we had to leave for the bonfire.

LPOV:

I quickly pulled on some jeans and grabbed my chap stick, I am nervous as heck about this, but there is no way I am going to not be myself because of it. If they like me, they will like me for who I am. I grabbed Alex's hand once we were in the truck, overjoyed to have him back. Alex was going in just his cutoffs, all thanks to my speech; I was enjoying this probably too much. I kept stealing glances at him as he drove, knowing the way, I remembered earlier when my hands had been on those firm muscles, and immediately wished to go back. Thankfully Alex's muscles weren't like those of a body builder, I found that rather unattractive actually, no he was more like a fit, skinny guy who likes push ups, which I adored. As a matter of fact I am thoroughly enjoying it, and I am pretty sure Alex is too, considering the purring sounds he was making earlier. The purring was new, but incredibly sexy. Hey! Don't blame me! He's the one who decided to go and get all hot, literally and not. He COULD have just been the 'cute' boy he was in third grade, but no, he just HAS to turn out to be the hottest guy on the freakin planet, don't blame me for having eyes.

I watched the sun as it finally sank beneath the horizon on our drive to the cliffs, I smiled as its last burst of light covered Alex and I. I was tucked into Alex's side and was nice and warm; this also gave me another excuse to touch him again. This time I touched with my lips, seeing as one hand was being held in his and the other was tucked behind his back. Darn. I slowly began kissing him any where I could reach, again he started that incredibly hot purring, I could have melted. Soon I heard the car turn off and looked up, seeing we were still not yet there, the purring continued as he looked at me, I questioned him with my eyes. The purring stopped and he laughed lightly.

"You think I am going to be able to drive with you doing that? No way, I will crash within five seconds, it sucks that we have to be there though because I would gladly sit here all night with you doing that." I blushed and ducked my head.

"Sorry," I looked up and smiled at him.

"Don't be sorry, just make sure I get a rain check on that k?" I giggled and nodded at his serious expression. He hugged me close and kissed the top of my forehead, starting the truck and pulling back onto the road. Soon we were there and Alex went around to open my door for me, I blushed and tucked myself under his arm once again as soon as I left.

The smell of a bonfire quickly overtook me and I welcomed it. Burning wood was always one of my favorite smells, next to Alex of course. Around the fire were many huge men, lots of whom were talking with girls or doing, well, whatever it is guys do, a man in a wheelchair, an older woman, and, what really caught my eye, was an obviously pregnant woman, who must be Emily. There was also a little boy toddling around and two infants in their parents' arms, they of course were looking lovingly at the babies in their arms and each other. Alex led me to the largest man here, who was talking to the man in the wheelchair. As we approached I watched as the large man gave Alex a warning look, as if he had done something wrong.

"Sam this is Lisa, Lisa, this is Sam the Alpha," Alex introduced us.

"Hi Sam," I said holding out my hand. Sam, however, was not looking at me, he was glaring at Alex.

"You told her?" He said, quietly but harshly.

Alex looked offended. "Well, yeah, you said that imprints could know everything, and she's my imprint, so I told her, why wait when we have a relationship just as strong as any of you here? I told her, she believed me and she wants to meet the pack and learn more about us, as do I." I smiled at him, he was so sweet.

The pregnant lady walked over to meet us, Emily, I remembered. She stood by Sam and brought his hand to her stomach. "Our baby is kicking Sam! Can you feel it?" Sam nodded and smiled, all traces of anger gone now that she had arrived. She looked at me. "Do you want to feel it… Lisa right?" I smiled and nodded reaching out to touch her swollen belly. As soon as I touched her the baby kicked and I smiled.

"Does it hurt?" I asked cautiously, both frightened and overjoyed that in 5 and a half months I would look just like her, well except for the scars, Alex had told me about them so I wasn't surprised, but still, they intrigued me.

"Like hell," she laughed, "but I know that he'll be perfect, or she, we don't want to know, I know that when this is all over it will be totally worth it." I smiled at her confidence.

I knew that she didn't know about Alex and I fully, or about our baby, only we did, but I immediately felt safer knowing that someone was there, someone who has gone through it, but still has it fresh in their mind. A mother to replace the one I just can't seem to talk to, about anything.

"I have heard so much about you Lisa, especially considering the short amount of time Alex was at my house. I never thought a guy could talk about a girl that much, it is so obvious that he loves you a lot!" Emily said oh so subtly, I just laughed.

"Emily, I know he loves me, I love him too, I also know that I am meant to be with him forever, there is no need to talk him up," I said, still laughing.

"Okay, but he's a keeper! He even helped me with the dishes, none of the boys EVER do that, he mentioned something about you teaching him so I must say, all the imprints are going to have to learn a thing or two from you, you can train 'em good!" I smiled remembering our first real kiss ever, which had come right after the dish incident.

"Everyone will LOVE you Lisa, come and meet them!" Emily said enthusiastically, pulling me over to some couples all sitting on logs.

The first couple we came up to was holding hands and talking quietly. The man had light hair and dark blue eyes, not like mine, with light for Quileute skin. The girl had russet colored hair and normal Quileute skin, along with deep, brown eyes. The girl laughed, a loud and contagious laugh, as the boy smiled, flashing white teeth at her. I saw some of the nearby werewolves laugh and whisper to their imprints, who laughed as well. The two looked up as we approached.

"Devan, Kirbie, this is Lisa; Alex's imprint," Emily said.

"What? He hasn't been a werewolf for two whole days yet and he already has an imprint? No freakin way!" He paused, "That dude's got GAME! Excuse me babe, but I gotta go see if this guy talked to Alice like a week ago." He said giving Kirbie a peck on the lips.

"You do understand Alice can't see us, right?" Kirbie laughed after Devan, who was now searching for my love. Kirbie laughed. "Men are like slinkys, totally useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs."

"Hey! I heard that!" Devan yelled, looking over his shoulder, tripping, and falling. Kirbie, Emily, and I all laughed, everyone else joined in as well as they saw Devan sprawled across the floor.

"Hi Lisa! I'd say I've heard a lot about you, but, as you can see, we just found out about you a minute ago. I'm Kirbie, the imprinted of that psycho over there." She said, pointing to Devan, who got up, and started searching again, looking up above people. As he walked past one man the man stuck out his foot and tripped Devan again. "Paul you jerk face! Stay away from my imprint!" Kirbie yelled at the man. She then went over to a girl and whispered something in her ear; Paul was close enough that he heard.

"No! Rachel please don't listen to her! Please, please, please! You love me don't you?" Rachel, his obvious imprint smirked and shook her head. Kirbie walked over and helped Devan up, then she pointed to Alex, who she found despite the fact that she was significantly shorter than him. He smiled at her and then went to talk to Alex. Kirbie walked back over to us.

"What did you say to her?" I asked in shock, how could words be so effective.

"Oh, just that he wasn't getting any for, a while," She said suggestively.

"How did you pull that off? It's no rumor that they are at it like Emmett and Rosalie." Emily said. Who are these people? Alice? Emmett and Rosalie?

"Well it turns out that she's pregnant, she told me yesterday," I immediately got excited, someone else for me to talk to. "She said she's going to announce it to everyone tomorrow at Sue's, since they are leaving the day after for Virginia." My hopes were crushed.

"Yeah, how long will they be out at the Cullen's?" Emily asks, another name I don't know.

"Rachel said until the Cullens move, Embry and Quil wanted to go, but their imprints are here. They can't leave them, so Paul and Rachel are going. Anyway Rachel was all freaked out that is they do it too much there will be complications with the baby, that's what one of her college friends said anyway."

I thrust out my hand, realizing I hadn't yet introduced myself, "I'm Lisa the imprinted of that umm…Alex over there," I said uncertainly as Alex started dancing around like a chicken. Kirbie and I glanced at each other, immediately bursting into laughter.

"Hey sister! What's happening?" A boy looking a lot like Kirbie walked up, followed by a girl who had been talking to Rachel. The girl had dark brown hair with a lot of natural red in it, and her eyes were a slate gray that instantly made me think of the Greek goddess Athena, goddess of wisdom, whose eyes were gray as well. The girl came up and automatically held the boy's hand, the boy shoulders relaxed and he leaned toward her, they were obviously an imprinted couple.

"Well I just met this awesome girl who is so totally going to be my friend and you can't even know her name." Kirbie replied.

"Oh really?"

"Really!" They continued making hand motions and getting in each other's space, but they were on the verge of laughter the entire time. I looked to the girl.

"Hello, I'm Lisa, Alex's imprint, and you are?" I asked casually trying to start a conversation.

"I'm Ella, that over there is my guy, Joey. He and Kirbie are twins and this is their FAVORITE thing to do, it's actually really funny," the two in question suddenly burst into laughter and did this really long handshake, it was obvious that the beginning was rehearsed, but at the end Joey did all these random movements complaining in mock anger when she didn't get it right.

"NO! Kirbie you have it ALL wrong! You always mess everything up!" Joey yells at Kirbie as he does a whole bunch of quick fake punches, Kirbie is laughing so hard she is crying and she can barely breathe. They come back to us laughing and Joey immediately takes Ella's hand, again they lean against each other. Joey whispers gibberish into Ella's ear, making sure to say Kirbie's name really loud. Then Joey fake giggles and whispers Kirbie's name again. Both Ella and Kirbie are shaking with silent laughter at Joey's stupidity.

Joey's ears suddenly perk up. "Embry's finally here," he whispers mainly to Ella, but we all hear him. His face scrunches up in disgust, "Ugh, this will give me a head ache, I'll see you later Honey." He whispers this to Ella and then makes a dramatic exit, kissing Ella's outstretched hand and whispering random French words. "Girl who I can't know," he nods to me, then he squints at Kirbie, "Kirbie." He says it like it disgusts him, we all laugh as he walks away.

A couple walk out of the forest, the man, I'm guessing Embry, tries to give his girlfriend a quick peck on the lips but she is obviously so happy that the kiss may have better been left when well over 25 people weren't watching them, as the case was. When they pulled apart Embry looked sufficiently shocked, but the girl didn't notice, instead she sprinted over to us. Her left hand was suspiciously hidden in her pocket, and she would be bouncing of the walls, if there were any. She was trying to calm herself, but she was failing. So instead she just gave a really high pitched squeal that us humans could barely hear, all the wolves however, could hear it perfectly and they all covered their ears and whined in pain.

The girl was obviously not Quileute, though not the only one here. Her hair was blond and straight, her blue eyes reminded me of my mother's, bright and daring like mine, but there was little contrast seeing as she was possibly the palest girl I had ever met. Her cheeks were flushed pink with excitement, and her pale skin only made her look that much prettier, she was a bit older than me, but by the sound of that squeal I am pretty sure that we will be great friends.

Ella finally realized that she couldn't see the girl's left hand. "Oh. My. Gosh. He proposed? Ahhhhh!" Even though I didn't even know this girl's name I joined in on the four person squeal.

"Shit! Embry do you think you could have waited until, I don't know, they all went mute?" Paul yelled, earning a hard smack from Jared, who sheepishly pointed at Rachel when Paul turned his glare on him.

"She told me to! She promised me food! C'mon man! Don't be like this!" Jared yelled, cowering in fear. Rachel stepped in between them, her eyes daring Paul to push her. Paul got cocky.

"Woman! What else can you take from me? You already took yourself away! I am home free!" Paul yelled, taking a step past Rachel. Rachel grabbed his shirt, stopping his procession. She whispered something and the look of victory suddenly slid from his face, turning into pure horror. He dropped on his knees, kissing anything his lips could reach, all the while whispering pleas for his life, and telling her she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and that he loved her, and that he didn't deserve her greatness, Rachel smirked and caught eyes with the girl in front of me, whose name I still did not know, "Congratulations," Rachel whispered.

"What are you waiting for! Show us the ring!" Kirbie squealed. The girl thrust her hand out from her pocket and we all gasped in delight. The ring was beautiful. Three golden vines were braided together, looking as real as if they were taken right out of nature and covered with gold, these vines made up the band. At the top of the ring all of the vines came together and twisted around a large flower. The flower made me think of a four petaled day lily, the long petals drooped downward, revealing a beautiful sparkly diamond in the middle. I barely knew this girl but I squealed and hugged her anyway.

"Are you Embry's imprint?" I asked her.

"Yeah, my name's Kerrigan, but you can call me Kerri, what can I call you?" She replied, looking at me skeptically with one eyebrow raised, I laughed.

"My name is Lisa, I'm Alex's imprint." I pointed him out, he was talking with Devan, Joey, and Embry, his laugh filled the air and I smiled, content to listen to that sound forever.

"Oh, he must be new, I haven't met him, how long has he been a wolf?" She looked him up and down, but before I could become jealous she shrugged and began staring at her own shirtless fiancé.

"Since about 5:00 p.m. yesterday," I replied, already dreading her next question.

"Hmm, what set him off?" I was still half happy about it so I struggled to make my happiness show through, ignoring all the negatives about all of this.

"I found out yesterday that I was pregnant, he was shaking with self-hatred cause I was crying, and yeah, Sam and Brady came to the door and took him away," I tried to smile, but I could feel tears welling in my eyes.

"Whoa! You're preggers?" Kirbie asked, looking intently at my stomach as if searching for any signs.

"Yeah, about two and a half weeks," I instinctively covered my stomach with my hand, feeling self-conscious because of their stares.

Kerri lowered her voice, "He did it?"

I took a deep breath and answered as quickly and quietly as I could because I saw Alex walking towards us, "I have never had sex in my life," I saw the questions squirming to get out, "That is all for now please." Alex came up behind me and wrapped his hand around my waist.

"Do you want to meet everyone else now?" Alex murmured in my ear, pulling me into a full on hug. I nodded against his chest.

We met everyone then: Collin and Brianne, Brady and Andrea, Michael and Kara, Will and Lexi, Kevin and Zoe, Ian, Craig, and Seth. Paul and Rachel, who were the parents of the little toddler, Peter, they along with Jared and Kim (who were the parents Isaac and Jacob who were the baby boys I had seen earlier) had stopped being wolves to take care of their families, but they still hung out with us most days, the pack bond was forever, once you were in you couldn't really leave, they were your family, you always had to return someday. Jacob had been named after a pack brother who had gone with the Cullen's (Apparently they were vampires who the wolves were great friends with) to West Virginia, which is where Paul and Rachel were going. Jacob had imprinted on a half-vampire, half-human, which sounded really weird, that was in their family. Leah was Seth's older sister, she was currently in college, she was in Jacob's pack. Seth, Embry, and… Quil were in his pack at one time too, but they had their imprints to be with, and Seth had high school to finish as well, so they stayed here, in La Push. Quil's imprint, Claire, was eight years old now, still not old enough to come to these bonfires. Claire's mom, Emily's sister, got breast cancer and died three years ago. So Emily adopted Claire, which is why they are just now having a child of their own. It has been decided that Claire cannot come to the bonfires until she is at least 15, or 14, possibly 13, honestly, they have no idea, they just know not yet. Claire has been at ballet camp for the past few days and will be back tomorrow.

Then of course there were Sam and Emily, Devan and Kirbie, Embry and Kerri, Joey and Ella, and Alex, the love of my life. I was already really good friends with Kerri, Kirbie, and Ella, I could tell that Zoe and Kara would be good friends too. Actually, they were all really nice, well except for Brianne, apparently this was her first bonfire, and she was still really freaked out and she was totally protective, like she wouldn't even let me shake Colin's hand, even though it was obvious from my position leaning against Alex's bare chest that I wasn't interested. She seemed really bitter, but I was determined to change that. Martin would totally love Will, Ian, and Michael, I could tell, if only he could know. Emily was already like a second mother to me, and Sam was totally the "Behave and I am totally okay with you" kind of dad, which was a nice change. Billy, the man in the wheelchair, told us the legends of the tribe, including the battle five years ago with the Cullens.

The Cullens consisted of: Carlisle and Esme (the mother and father figures), Rosalie and Emmett (the love birds, Emmett was, or so I was told, a really big teddy bear and Rosalie, she had some trouble accepting people, but once you were in her circle she would give her life for you, but if you weren't there yet she can seem like a narcissistic bitch.), Alice and Jasper (Alice could see the future, but she couldn't see the werewolves, we thought it was because she had never been one herself, and Jasper could feel and manipulate emotions), Bella, Edward, and their daughter Renesmee (Bella had a shield that protected her mind from a lot of other vampire powers, including her husband, Edward's. Edward can read minds. Renesmee can show people pictures by touching their face, she also ages extremely fast because she is a half-vampire), and Jacob, who had imprinted on Renesmee.

As we listened to the captivating voice belonging to Billy I leaned against Alex's bare chest and he played with my hair. If the stories weren't so perfect I would be laughing my head off. I hate it when people play with m hair because I love it so much, it's kind of like giving a five year old a massage, it still feels good to them, but at the same time it tickles. When he was pausing between stories Alex whispered that normally Old Quil would tell these stories, but he had died last year, so everyone was still dealing with the loss.

By the time the stories were over most of the imprints were asleep, the warmth from both the fire and their wolves along with the words that Billy had said was a lullaby to them. The wolves were all either staring lovingly at their imprints or nodding off themselves. Emily was quietly going around and picking up all the paper plates and napkins and throwing them in the fire. Alex was asleep beneath me so I got up carefully, trying not to wake him. He stirred and reached out for me, I bent down to whisper in his ear.

"I'll be back soon sweetheart, I am going to go talk to Emily, you just sleep," I kissed his forehead and he relaxed. I walked over to Emily who had just finished; I was scared and needed to talk to my mom. Sam wasn't next to her; he was talking to Billy about something.

"Umm, Emily?" I asked quietly, sitting down next to her. "I already consider you as my second mom and I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

Emily immediately gave me such a look of pure compassion and love that I nearly started crying already. "Of course dear, you can tell me anything."

I nodded. "Emily, I'm pregnant." I whispered, my voice trembling. A quick look of shock flitted across her face before she again wore the look of concern.

"You and Alex? Already?" She asked, not looking for gossip, just wanting to comfort me.

"It isn't quite that simple, well actually, it isn't simple at all." I took a deep breath, for what seemed like the thousandth time tonight. "Let me start from the beginning…

"Eight years ago Alex and I were 10 and in the fourth grade, we had learned quickly and already knew the difference between a crush and love. I had known Alex since Kindergarten and always had crushes here and there, but I always came back to him. He seemed to know without having to search. He watched me talk about other boys in our class, but he stayed on, every day at recess he would come up with some game for us to play, just us. I had other friends and sometimes decided to be with them instead, he complied, always, just watching from a distance. In fourth grade I had finally decided that it was okay to say that I loved him, to myself anyway. I already knew he loved me, it was obvious." I let out a short laugh.

"I remember how we always thought we were better than everyone else because we already understood love; we just didn't know what to do with it. Some of our classmates had 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' but it was obvious that there was no real feeling there so we decided that we would just be friends cause adults didn't understand how it was possible for such young kids to fall in love, but it happened. We were best friends, we laughed and loved.

"One day he didn't show up to school, the teacher said nothing when I asked, and I was so scared. After school I went to his house…" I skipped over editing; Emily just listened, knowing what I was doing. "My other best friend, Lily, found me there hours later, on his bed, breathing in his scent and hugging tightly to the stuffed crab-apple I had given him for his last birthday.

"After that I essentially was a zombie. Eventually people stopped noticing, and I got better at hiding. I hung out with people that made it so I didn't have to think about emotions, I tried to be alone as little as possible because when I was I broke down. Eventually I learned to cope with it all, I grew stronger, I lived, and people thought I got better, but I just never showed it. I didn't listen to my feelings, I avoided them, often when I was alone I would turn up my music as loud as it could go so that I couldn't hear my thoughts. I developed a kind of shield. A defensive tool, if you will. I could completely zone out, feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing. I would live in this happy part of my brain, completely oblivious to the world. The only person I really talked to was my dog, Cappuccino, who I took on a walk every morning. A few weeks ago I was on one of these walks and… you heard about the man right? The man who was, umm, raping girls?" Again I was nervous, this was the make it or break t moment, unconsciously my eyes flicked in Alex's direction. Emily followed my gaze.

"Oh my gosh! It was h-him? Alex?" She stuttered a fire growing in the back of her eyes. She stood up, her fist clenching. I reached up and pulled her back down.

"Wait! Wait Emily! You have to hear his side too! We are soul mates, and you know that if you hurt him I will gladly hospitalize you!" I didn't like threatening my mother, but it was true, and I needed her to listen. She sat down angrily, and stopped glaring at my love, softening her gaze as she looked at me again.

"I'm listening," she sighed, defeated.

"Thank you, we both nearly died at the separation of each other, but I was a lot stronger than him, I had places to go to and people to distract me, I had at least one thing to talk to. Alex was alone with his b**** of a mother, who had dragged him away in the middle of the night, as much as he protested, she had also ripped the crab-apple from his grasp, leaving him with no reminder of me either. He was kept together only because that piece of crap that gave birth to him gave him absolutely no freedom, he had to stay in the house at all times, he had no room to do wrong. Eventually his mother died of drug overdose and he soon ran out of money. Without something to count, something to keep him occupied-he had dropped out of school too- he literally went insane.

"It was as if a monster inside of him was released, he had no control and all he could think about was me. It was true that he had loved me and when we were together he didn't feel lust because we were too underdeveloped, but now the monster that had consumed him was fully developed and wanted only to be 'satisfied'. He found girls that reminded him of me in some way, and the monster took over. He hated himself for it, but couldn't stop no matter how much he wanted.

"Then he found me, I think that somehow the small sane part of his mind knew it was me, because he took me to the abandoned house we used to play in, instead of just screwing me right there. I don't remember anything about it, I had turned on my shield. I had known what was coming. When I 'woke up' he was there, staring. We talked, caught up in the similarities of each other. I convinced him to say his name at the same time I said mine. When we did we were shocked. I forgave, all he had ever done he had done because of me. And besides, love is forgiving, and I still loved him, and I still do.

"Alex is everything; I couldn't live without him, not again. My parents and brother know him as Hayden Puckett. My parents don't know I am pregnant, I am afraid of what they'll do to Alex. Knowing my parents, they won't wait to hear what I have to say. Emily, I am scared, but you have to understand that I'm not giving up our baby anymore than I am giving up Alex." I placed my head in my hands, finished. I thought I heard Emily sniffle, but before I could be sure I was encased in her loving arms.

"You are, by far, the bravest person I have ever met. I would never survive through all that you have, and I would never be able to sit here and tell it to someone I just met." Emily told me, pulling back to look me in the eye.

"I'm not brave Emily! I am scared out of my mind! I still have school to finish, a family, friends, and I want to go to college! What would I tell my mom? What would I tell my DAD? They would just ground me for forever and then they would beat Alex to death, never knowing the whole story! And what about all my friends? They think that I am the perfect child, they don't know any of this! Emily, I can't survive without Alex again!" I was hysterical by now; but Emily just pulled me into her arms again.

"You have a family, you have friends, who love you, and will NEVER let you go, everything will be okay, and we aren't leaving you." She murmured into my ear. I felt an extremely warm hand on my back, the electrical shock that went through my body told me instantly who it was. I looked into the eyes of my love; his face was full of love. He pulled me into the warmth and comfort of his arms and I collapsed against him, completely drained of all energy.

He realized how tired I was and picked me up, bridal style, I lay my head against his chest, content. "Emily, you can tell the rest of the pack what you just heard, we don't need to tell this again, thank you so much." Alex whispered to Emily.

As he carried me to the truck I heard a few murmured, 'Bye Lisa's, I dropped my hand from Alex's grasp in a half-attempted wave. "I love you Lisa, so much," Alex whispered, kissing my forehead, I nodded tiredly and breathed in his glorious scent, knowing that whatever happened now I would be perfectly safe in his arms.

**A/N: Sappy goodness! Wow, this chapter took me a day and a half to type, it is freakin long, 14 pages! I can guarantee you that you won't have this long of chapters after this. A warning: I don't know how often I'll be able to post because I do have a social life, and I am working at church camp for a lot of the summer, where I won't be able to type at all, I am also going to Honduras for a mission trip at the end of June for a week, so I will be totally swamped, but I wanted to get this really long chapter out before I leave tomorrow, if you would review I would absolutely adore you! Thanks!**


End file.
